Out Of The Mouth Of Babes: Part 1

Are you constantly surprised by the odd things your children feel compelled to say?  I know I am! This is my list of the top 5  strangest things my kids have said to me This Week.



1. You were born a long time ago! You have had a lot of birthdays! - The 4-year old

I have never been one to obsess about my age. Frankly, I have too many other things to obsess about.  I like to save my anxiety for things that will eventually turn my children into well rounded crispies or tea cups.

Thanks to my 4-year old, however, I am starting to doubt my youthful appearance.  Maybe I should start obsessing about my age. I have a to-do list that lays out my daily neuroses. I am sure can squeeze in being freaked out about my age somewhere.



2. I picked a lot of books. I don't think we have enough money for all the books.  You need to go to work and make more money. - The 4-year old

I am a Mom.  That means I say "no" a lot.  I try to be honest with the kids.  We don't have the money to buy everything.  It's a simple allocation of funds issue.

My 4-year old's solution to all money issues: Mommy needs to get her butt back to the office and make more money.  On the plus side, at least she is a problem solver.



3. Ring the Bell!!! - The Baby

The Baby loves to ring the doorbell. Now that she is starting to talk more she has learned to say scream , "Ring the bell!"  The first time she said it I was so excited.

It really is wonderful when you child finally learns to speak.  You also can't help but be awed by their ability to put together small sentences.  It really is a wonderful time.

The problem is that the Baby flat out refuses to say Mama.  Oh, she will say Dada and Daddy and a whole slew of other words, but not Mama. If you ask her to say Mama you will get one of two responses:

a) She will ignore you and turn her head away.

b) She will say Dada and laugh at you.

Now to add insult to injury the beautiful little booger is making mini sentences.   Seriously, it is just a matter of time before she refers to me as, "hey lady!"



4. Do you know Justin Bieber? Katelyn knows Justin Bieber, but I don't know Justin Bieber. I don't think I like Justin Bieber. - The 4-year old

How did this happen?  I thought you had to be a pre-teen to know about Justin Bieber.  I didn't think preschoolers knew anything about him. Obviously I know nothing.

I didn't tell her that I knew who Justin was. Nor did I mention his tendency to wear purple. If the 4-year old knew about the purple I am sure she would like Justin.



5. When Nermal dives and goes to doggy heaven can we get a dog? - The 4-year old

Some how the 4-year old thinks that diving and dieing are the same thing.  Basically when you die you swim off to Heaven.  I don't know if scuba gear is required for the trip.  I haven't really discussed the whole concept with her at length.

Nermal is our pet cat. I am not sure how the cat is going to feel about going to doggy heaven.  Nermal isn't that thrilled with dogs here on earth.



Bonus: Mommy, I need a bucket and some bricks.  I am going to make a Leprechaun boobie-trap! Those Leprechauns are very sneaky! - The 4-year old

I don't know what she plans on doing with the Leprechaun when she catches him.  I wonder how he would feel about having bows in his hair.  Poor little Leprechaun.

Now let's have a little fun. I dare you to share with me the craziest things your kids have said to you this week. Please put your answer in the comment section below. The funniest 5 responses will win a T-shirt from the NeatoShop and  be featured in next weeks post.

Please write your T-shirt selection alongside your guess. If you don't include a selection, you forfeit the prize, okay?

Happy commenting!

Update(3/22/11): This contest is now over. Thank you to everyone who participated! The winners are listed in part two.