Han Solo and the Beastie Boys don't have anything in common other than their connection to 80s pop culture, but when you bring these two forces of freshness together they make a pretty good pair, err I mean quartet. Quintet? Yeah, that one.
Anyhoo, the Solo: A Star Wars Story trailer felt a bit lacking on its own, but when Chris Galegar of War Starts At Midnight recut the trailer to the Beastie Boys song Sabotage the fans were like "I love you" and Chris was like "I know".
-Via io9
Spirited Again by MoisEscudero
Green is a magical and wonderful color- it's the color of rich, living nature, a color that represents all living things on Earth and appeals to them all as well, a color that catches the eye then hugs our eyeballs rather than poking them.
Every year around St. Patrick's Day and the beginning of spring people start thinking green thoughts and looking forward to green life returning to their gray winterbound lives.
But why wait until the official arrival of spring to go green when you can wear a green NeatoShop shirt and keep the love of life going all year long!
Green will always be the official color of St. Patrick's Day
But don't hold that against the poor little color
The Devil's Playground by Hillary White
Because our lives would be totally drab and dull without green!
The Science Museum of Indiana by DCVA
Hawkins used to be such a sleepy little town that the town's criminals and bullies were even boring, but ever since conspiracies came to light and things got turned upside down Hawkins has become one of the hottest places for tourists to visit in Indiana. However, there's one fact these tourists seem to be missing about the town- there are deadly creatures lurking everywhere, and people die or "disappear" all the time. Either they don't want to know or don't care, so the town council has created a number of tourist attractions around town to educate strangers on the dangers they face while in Hawkins, including a Science Museum that houses specimens from the upside down, so they can see firsthand what may eat them or one of their group while they're in town...
Show the world you went to Hawkins and have the souvenir tee to prove it with this The Science Museum Of Indiana t-shirt by DCVA, it's a great combination of nerdy and educational that'll drive your fellow fans wild!
Visit DCVA's NeatoShop for more geek-tastic designs:
| Future Wars | Pocket Porg | Slimy Mudhole | Planet Hoth |
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Some guys act like boobs force them to stare, like they have some sort of hypnotic power over their minds that captures their attention and won't allow them to look away, but the truth is these guys were never taught manners or they're just straight up a-holes. If these rude dudes had been raised right they would know better than to sit and stare at a woman's chest, but they think there'll be no repercussions for their boorish behavior, so they must be shown the error of their ways. And whether women think the right way to do that is by being rude to them, utterly ignoring them or declare outright war against their sexist ways they're all right- because the right way to handle these jerks is leave them loveless and forever alone until they learn to stop being such pigs!
Show the world you're a rebel with better things to do than be ogled by boors by wearing this BOOB TRICK t-shirt by Geekchic Tees, it's a humorous way to diffuse an otherwise uncomfortable situation and declare your independence from objectification.
Visit geekchic tees's Facebook fan page, official website, Instagram and Tumblr, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more radically readable designs:
| Any Functioning Adult 2020 For President | Elder of The Internet | Invent Transform Create and Destroy ! | Who Do You Love |
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Some pets that seem very similar, like parrots, cockatiels and parakeets, have vastly different lifespans- parrots can live 50 years or more, cockatiels live about half as long and parakeets live about 5-8 years.
So why do animals have such different lifespans? On a base level it has to do with environment and body size, with colder environments slowing down metabolic rates and heartbeats and thereby allow animals to live longer.
But if you dig deeper you'll find that an animal's lifespan is also affected by the mechanics of their cell division- animals that have cells that can divide and are replaced when damaged live longer.
This TED talk by Dr. João Pedro de Magalhães breaks down all the reasons why animals have such vastly different lifespans, explaining that similar animals age at different rates due to genetic differences, like how their cells respond to threats. So while parakeets don't live long enough to become teenagers cockatoos live long enough to join AARP!
It's hard for some people to understand the value of an animal's life until they come face to face with that animal, because the animals they encounter in the human world are either pets or pests.
Because of this detachment from nature many humans have a hard time caring about the fact that certain animal species are endangered or going extinct, like the Shoebill (only 5-8,000 in the wild) and the Saiga (critically endangered) above.
And look at how handsome this Iberian Lynx is, can you believe there are only 326 of them left in the wild?
British photographer Tim Flach felt seeing a portrait of these disappearing species might be just the thing to make people care, so he spent two years taking perfectly poignant portraits of the world's endangered species.
Look these Ring-Tailed Lemurs (pop. 2000 as of 2017) in the eyes and tell them you don't care if they live or die or disappear from the planet entirely. Go on, I'll wait...
Couldn't do it, could ya?! Check out the rest of Tim's series Endangered at his site and you'll see dozens more reasons to care about the plight of endangered animals like these poor White-Bellied Pangolins, current population unknown.
Runaway is a fearful word associated with the loss of a child or pet who runs away from home or losing control of a train as it barrels down the tracks.
The latter is less frightening than the former unless you're aboard the runaway train or it's headed right for you, at which point your heart starts to race and your life flashes before your eyes.
That is, unless you're a dumb cow ambling down the tracks without a care in the world, those beef-brained critters never seem to notice when a train is about to slam into their rump roast until it's too late...
Runaway is a dark animated short directed by Cordell Barker, featuring music by Ben Charest (of Triplets of Belleville fame) and appropriately rendered in a hand drawn style reminiscent of Edward Gorey.
It's nearly March and nearly spring, so that means it's time for the undedicated New Year's Resolutioners to give up their newfound active lifestyle and stop going to the gym.
Some will lie about it to their friends and loved ones, others will brag about how they stopped giving a crap again, but only Redditor MastrrBasser had the decency to write a breakup letter to his gym when he quit going.
It seems Planet Fitness wouldn't let MastrrBasser cancel his membership over the phone even though he'd moved away and wasn't looking for a long distance relationship, so he wrote them a letter to make their breakup official:
Planet Fitness wouldn't let me cancel over the phone, and required a certified letter to cancel since I live in a different state now. I dropped this in the mail today. from r/funny
The letter starts off like any good breakup letter should:
‘It is with deep regret, and a heavy heart that I write this letter, but I must come forth with my intentions with sincerity and honesty.
‘Certain events in my life have put me in a different place, and while it was one of the more taxing decisions I’ve had to make of late, it is the right one.
‘The purpose of this letter is to end my relationship with Planet Fitness.’
Then it becomes ever more ridiculous as MastrrBasser reveals how Planet Fitness will always be a piece of his heart:
‘I still think fondly of you, and the time we spent together as I drive by one of your many locations. Sometimes, when I’m alone, I even throw one of my old ‘power-pop workout’ playlists and feel the rush of our past course through me as if we were still one; holding hands with your elliptical machine, and gingerly brushing my sweaty bangs out of my face as I huff and puff in a tumultuous vortex of sweat and endorphins.’
-Via Metro
You'd think a guy with the last name Sizlack would have style, or at very least a charming personality, but Moe lacks style and personality and serves up some of the most horrendous drinks. But the man does have plenty of Duff on hand at all times, and because that's one of the only palatable beverages he serves at his Tavern the Duff corporation loves old Moe the schmoe from Springfield-O. So as crappy as his bar is otherwise there is a good chance Duffman or Duffgirl will come in and get the party started, so maybe that's why guys like Barney and Homer hang out at Moe's every single day of their lives? Moe's Tavern- one of the saddest places on Earth!
Show the world where you like to do your binge drinking by wearing this Tavern Logo t-shirt by Buby87, and for the cost of a few drinks you can spread the Sizlack love wherever you go!
Visit Buby87's NeatoShop for more toon-errific designs:
| Are you ready for some beer love? | Is your mouth tiny and small? | Police Badge | Ghost Hotel |
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Kenny must be awfully tired of living by now, and every time he dies again the prospect of succumbing to Death's cold embrace must seem a little more appealing. But as long as Kenny has work to do in South Park he'll keep coming back, leaving Death waiting in the wings like a parent waiting to pick up their child from school. It's funny how appealing immortality seems until you're actually immortal, since nobody realizes that immortality means Death will always be watching and waiting for its chance to embrace you. But that's Kenny's favorite part, because his parents weren't too big on hugging...
Show some love for your favorite animated immortal with this Let's Go Home t-shirt by Theduc, it's a killer design that'll make your fellow fans crack up wherever you go!
Visit Theduc's Facebook fan page and official website, then head on over to his NeatoShop for more drop dead funny designs:
| Fire and lol | F**king humans | We are dance | In the pocket |
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I've always wondered how two of the most popular characters in the world of video games, Mario and Donkey Kong, found themselves at odds, considering most of the DK games cast him as a hero and Mario is a good guy too. So how did the gorilla and the plumber end up bitter enemies?
It turns out the enmity started in the 1984 Game & Watch title Donkey Kong Circus, in which DK is imprisoned by Mario and forced to perform for his amusement:
This makes sense given the little-known narrative of Donkey Kong (1981) was confirmed by Shigeru Miyamoto himself in a 2016 interview: “Mario kept Donkey Kong locked up, so he escaped with his girlfriend.” Thus, the original Donkey Kong arcade game gets recontextualized. Instead of kidnapping Pauline (or “Lady”) for seemingly no reason, Donkey Kong is seeking vengeance against Mario for his wrongful imprisonment.
So Mario ain't such a good guy after all, which explains why he's one of the bad guys in Donkey Kong Jr., but when it comes to the Kong family the biggest mystery is this- what happened to Donkey Kong Jr.?
While DK Jr. is conspicuously absent from the Country games, early Nintendo Power coverage of Donkey Kong Land—the Game Boy adaptation of the DKC series—suggests he was not entirely forgotten. In a pre-release article from issue 69 (1995) of the magazine, several renders of characters appear who would not be included in the final game. One of these characters is a Kong sporting a fedora. We have no information on who this character is, but we can speculate based on his appearance.
Aside from being the sartorial equivalent of a condescending “m’lady”, the fedora can be used to denote a kind of classic American fatherhood—think Finn and Jake’s dad in Adventure Time. Is it possible, then, that this Kong was meant to be the lost Donkey Kong Jr.? Maybe, or maybe not. But regardless, what happened to Donkey Kong Jr.? If he isn’t the modern tie-wearing Donkey Kong, then where did he go?
Say it with me: Great. Ape. War.
Indoor shooting ranges are where people go to blow off some steam by firing off a few dozen rounds of ammo, and they're a great place for the armed professionals to practice their aim and improve their skills.
But guns are loud and obnoxious, making it impossible to relax in a shooting range, and most ranges discourage their patrons from drinking while they shoot which is why they're not a very fun place to hang out.
So if you want to kick back while developing kick ass combat skills I suggest you head to an indoor axe-throwing range like Brooklyn's Kick Axe Throwing instead, where you can hurl axes in-between drinks and drink 'til you hurl once you're done tossing axes!
-Via Mashable
Scare campaigns typically have something other than public safety and awareness behind them, and the end result of the campaign rarely justifies the means.
When McCarthy decided to go after the commies among us with his ridiculous Red witch hunt he was doing it for his own benefit, not the country's, and the source of his power over the American people was his "list" of Communists that had infiltrated the U.S. government.
This list is what he used to strike fear into the hearts of the American people, it started the Red Scare and served as the source of McCarthy's power- only this Red list didn't exist:
At first, McCarthy claimed that he had a list of 57 secret commies. Then it was 81, and at one point it was 10, which probably meant a bunch of them watched some John Wayne movies and changed their minds. Each time, the numbers would change, and each time, the senator flashed a piece of paper that contained the names of exactly zero Soviet subversives. It was the xenophobic fearmongering equivalent of saying you have a girlfriend in Canada.
John F. Kennedy similarly used the Red Scare to convince America to vote for him in the 1960 presidential election, claiming Dwight Eisenhower's negligence had allowed Russia to stockpile more missiles than the U.S., the so-called "missile gap":
We know now this claim was utter BS- U-2 spy planes had already determined the Russians couldn't reach the U.S. with their ICBMs or bombers, and America had already amassed a much larger arsenal.
But JFK knew the Republicans couldn't call his bluff without revealing the existence of secret spy plane missions against the Soviets, so Kennedy tossed out a ripe lie and America ate it up.
Read 5 Major Scare Campaigns Based on Less Than Nothing at Cracked (NSFW language)
The politically charged lyrics of Rage Against The Machine made them controversial in the 90s, and yet despite all the controversy (or perhaps because of it) their second and third albums debuted at number one on the charts.
But before they forever changed alternative music with hits like Killing In The Name and Bombtrack they were just a bunch of young, hungry musicians with a new sound and a dream.
And, like many rockers before them, their musical journey started at Zed Records in Long Beach, California, where YouTuber CowProd captured their performance on March 29th, 1992 with this amazing two camera video:
almost 21 [26] years ago i shot this footage of rage playing zed records. mostly been sitting on it for this long because i’m that lazy.
-Via Laughing Squid
Because food is such a big part of our lives, and something we like sharing with our friends and family, new food trends are constantly popping up and sweeping through our networks until everyone is talking about the latest taste sensation.
Most of these trends take off and become a way bigger deal than they deserve just because they seem like new and interesting ideas, which leads to something as dumb as rolled ice cream becoming a huge social media trend.
But if your food "creation" was made just so it'll look good on Instagram then it really needs to go away, along with these glittery lattes that turn your guts all nice and shiny.
Let's make 2018 the year we do away with dumb food trends and come up with something real and genuinely delicious, because throwing flaming hot Cheetos on a pizza isn't a trend- it's an idea you come up with when you're stoned.
