Some people are naturals at it and some people can be brought to it, but neither work if one person isn't sure of their consent or comfort. But from the source link you provided and the description in it, it sounded like he wasn't even as enthusiastic for sex as she was, and that's a whole different problem that whips and chains won't fix.

BDSM is not something you enter into lightly nor divorce someone because they're not "adventurous" enough. The whole point of engaging in BDSM is that it's a consensual power play, and if both partners aren't up to it, it ends up being dangerous. Nor is that book a good representation of a BDSM relationship - neither of those characters belonged in relationships of any sort.

If she wanted to divorce him, fine. It sounds like they had enough issues to promote grounds for one. But don't do it because someone won't tie you up or beat you. There are rules, and it's a type of relationship built out of an extreme amount of trust that most people I know don't even begin to fathom.