In Lynchburg, Tennessee, tales of Jack Daniel are taller than Paul Bunyan on a step stool. The question is, are any of them true?

The legend of Jack Daniel reaches all the way back to the moment he was born. Unfortunately, nobody knows exactly when that was. Some records show that Jasper Newton "Jack" Daniel came into the world on September 5, 1846. His tombstone, however, says 1850. Strange, because his mother died in 1847.

All of this might not normally matter, but Jacks birth date is important to his overall legend, which proudly proclaims him "the boy distiller." So perhaps it's best we begin when Jack was first introduced to whiskey, which we know was early in life. Leaving home at a young age, Jack struck out on his own with nothing more than a handful of items valued at $9. He ended up at the home of Dan Call, a preacher at a nearby Lutheran church and the owner of a general store. There, Reverend Call also happened to sell whiskey that he distilled himself.

Jack quickly became determined to learn the craft. In fact, many storytellers claim the boy wonder bought the still from Call and began pursuing the business full-time at the ripe age of 16. If that legend is true, then Jack began selling his own Tennessee whiskey only three years later; the famous black labels on the company bottles proudly pronounce, "Established and Registered in 1866."

In reality, no documents support that myth. Jack may have been a teenage moonshiner, but he didn't register his business with the federal government until 1875. And by then, Jack would have been more booze-appropriate age of 29.

THE MAKER MAKES HIS MARK

Whatever legend exist, one thing is certain: Jack Daniel had a brilliant mind for marketing. Even as a youngster, Jack understood that if people remembered him, they would remember his whiskey. To that end, he decked himself out in a formal knee-length coat, a vest, a tie, and a wide-brim planter's hat, and was never caught out of "uniform" again.

Jack also established the Jack Daniel's Silver Cornet Band - a 10-member outfit solely devoted to promoting his whiskey across the countryside. With uniforms and instruments from the Sears & Roebuck catalog and a specially designed wagon for traveling, Jack made sure the band played every saloon opening, Fourth of July celebration, and political rally around.

The original Silver Cornet Band (c. 1908) Photo: Silver Cornet Band History

But perhaps Jack's most brilliant decision concerned how to present his whiskey. From the beginning, Jack had been one of the first sellers to stencil his distillery name on his whiskey jugs. Next, he upgraded to round, custom-embossed bottles. But when a glass salesman showed him a prototype square bottle in 1895, Jack realized he'd stumbled upon something unique. The new bottles not only stood out from the crowd, but also had a shape that would prevent them from rolling around and breaking during transport. In addition, the square look reinforced the idea that Jack was a square dealer who put honest work and high standards first. (Image: Cocktail Times)

Whatever effort Jack Daniel put into his marketing, he never let quality slip. In 1904, the distiller decided on a whim to enter his whiskey in the taste competition at the St. Louis World's Fair. It came as little surprise when he won.

LUCKY NO.7

Perhaps Jacks' greatest coup was the name he gave his product - Old No. 7. Naturally, nobody seems to know why. The official historian at the Jack Daniel Distillery today says it's the most oft-asked question on factory tours. As you might imagine, many theories have been advanced. Jack had seven girlfriends. Jack believed that the number seven was lucky. Jack was honoring a merchant friend who owned seven stores that distributed Jack's liquor. Jack misplaced a batch of whiskey for seven years and, upon finding it, labeled it "Old No. 7."

None of these stories, however, makes as much sense as the less-than-sexy explanation from Jack Daniel biographer Peter Krass. Simply put, Jack was originally assigned a district tax assessment number of 7. But when the IRS consolidated districts within Tennessee, they arbitrarily assigned him the number 16. Jack didn't want to confuse his loyal consumers and he certainly didn't want to bend to the government, so he began labeling his bottles "Old No. 7." More than 125 years later, this act of defiance still makes his label stand out.

JACK WITHOUT JILL

Jack Daniel never married. Some say it's because he was married to his work; others say it's because he never found a girl who measured up to his high standards. Or perhaps it's just that he was too busy catering to the greater Lynchburg population - throwing elaborate Christmas feasts, hosting exquisite costume parties in his second-story ballroom, and donating money to every church in Moore County.

But by all accounts, Jack was quite a ladies' man. He was a perfect dance partner, a polite conversationalist, and a fantastic gift-giver. Unfortunately, he also gravitated toward girls young enough to be his daughter (or even granddaughter). Once, Jack even asked for a woman's hand in marriage, but her father denied him - partly because Jack enjoyed keeping his own legend alive and always hesitated to reveal his true birth date. When Jack proposed, her father made it clear that any man unwilling to disclose his age was "a little too old for such a young girl."

THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE GANGRENE

Hard as it might be to believe, in the end, the great distiller actually died from getting to work too early. As the story goes, one morning in 1906, Jack arrived at his office before anyone else. He tried to access the company safe, but had a terrible time remembering the code. After a few frustrating minutes, he kicked the safe as hard as he could. He badly bruised his left foot and immediately began to walk with a limp. The limp only grew worse with time, and he later discovered the injury had led to blood poisoning. Then came gangrene, then amputation, and then five years later, death.

It's not the happiest ending for the story, or the clearest cut, but it is the best, because it adds to the mystery and mystique of Jack Daniel. As they say, where facts cannot be found, legends fill the empty space - and that's perfectly fine for the keepers of the company flame. After all, as Jack himself believed, the more memorable his image, the memorable his whiskey.

The article above, written by Eric Furman, appeared in theSpinning the Globe section of the Nov - Dec 2007 issue of mental_floss magazine (the excellent "Golden Lobe Awards" issue!). It is reprinted here with permission.

Don't forget to feed your brain by subscribing to the magazine and visiting mental_floss' extremely entertaining website and blog today!

The following is an article from Uncle John's Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader

Middelgrunden off-shore wind farm (Photo: René Seindal [Flickr])

With rising gas cost at the pump, violence in the Middle East and the upcoming Presidential Election, it's no wonder that politicians are saying they have plans to make the United States independent of foreign oil. But can it be done? Here's a country that has kicked the foreign oil habit: Denmark.

INDEPENDENCE

In 1973, in response to the Yom Kippur War between Israel and Egypt, the Organization of Arab Oil Producing Countries began the infamous "Arab oil embargo" - any country that supported Israel in the war would stop receiving shipments of oil. That meant the United States, Japan, and most of Europe. The effect was devastating - soaring oil prices set off a worldwide recession. Most of the affected countries quickly initiated plans to conserve energy: The United States lowered the speed limit to 55 mph and started programs like "turn off the lights at night." But when the crisis ended, most nations dropped those programs and went back to their old ways. Denmark was different: being 99% dependent on foreign oil, it was particularly badly hit by the embargo. Determined never again to be at the mercy of their oil suppliers, the Danes kept conserving and worked to produce their own energy.

A COMMUNITY EFFORT

In 1976 the Danish public got behind an ambitious (and expensive) program to become entirely energy-independent, and, with the development of new, clean energy systems, to get out of the foreign oil business completely. Some of the steps taken:

• Strict energy-efficiency standards were placed on all buildings.

• Gas and automobiles were heavily taxed (Today new cars are taxed at more than 105% of the cost of the car.)

• "District heating systems" were implemented throughout the country, reusing normally wasted heat produced by power plants by piping it directly into homes. Today more than 60% of Danish homes are heated this way.

• The government invested heavily in clean and renewable energy systems, especially wind power. Today 21% of Denmark's energy production comes from wind farms. On top of that, they lead the world in wind-power technology - another product to export. The industry has created more than 20,000 jobs.

• Rebate campaigns helped people buy more energy-efficient - and therefore more expensive - home appliances. Today more than 95% of new appliances bought in Denmark have an "A" efficiency rating. ("A" is the best; "G" is the worst.)

• They started drilling for - and finding - more oil and natural gas within their own waters in the North Sea. (Showing that no plan is perfect, these efforts have long been opposed by environmentalists.)

• In 2005 the government committed $1 billion to develop and integrate better solar, tidal, and fuel-cell technology.

RESULTS

Denmark is a small nation geographically - roughly half the size of Maine - with a population of about 5.5 million, so that has to be taken into account when comparing it to larger and more populous countries. Still, the Danes' accomplishments are startling. Remember that in 1973 Denmark was 99% dependent on foreign oil? Today they produce enough energy to cover all their own needs and sell the extra to other countries, the only European nation to do so. And their energy conservation programs have been so successful that over the last 30 years, even with extensive modernization and a 7% increase in population, their annual energy use has remained basically the same.

Still, although Denmark has among the highest taxes in the world, it also has one of the highest standards of living. And polls show that a majority of Danes would pay even higher taxes to remain self-sufficient and live free of fossil-fuel dependence. In 2007 the Danes set further goals for the country: They hope to be able to provide 75% of all their energy consumption from wind farms by 2025 - less than two decades from now. "We aim to make Denmark independent of oil, gas, and coal in the long term," Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen said, "and strengthen our position as a world leader in clean energy." Svend Auken, a member of the Danish Parliament, added, "It need not be dull, it need not be boring, and we don't have to give up our lifestyle. We just have to be a little bit smarter about how we live."

All those Lassie episodes and news stories on dogs that dialed 911 notwithstanding, will Fido really get help you are in trouble? Or will man's best friend let you die?

Someone actually did the scientific study to find out. Here's the story, from Alex Boese's Elephants on Acid and Other Bizarre Experiments.

"The bookcase has fallen on me and I can't get up!"

Timmy has fallen down a well. "Lassie, get help!" he calls up from the darkness. Lassie pricks up her ears, looks down the well, and then takes off running. Soon she finds a ranger.

"Bark! Bark! Bark!"

"What is it Lassie?" he says. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"Bark! Bark!" Lassie motions with her snout, then begins running back toward the well. Concerned, the ranger follows closely behind.

If you were trapped down a well like Timmy, what would your dog do? Would it run to get help, or would it wander off to sniff a tree? If you own a trained rescue dog it would probably get help, but what about an average dog, the kind whose greatest passions in life are (a) bacon, and (b) barking at the neighbor's cat? Would it figure out what to do in an emergency situation?

The First Experiment: Fake Heart Attack

To find out, researchers Krista Macpherson and William Roberts from the University of Western Ontario arranged for twelve dog owners to pretend to have a heart attack while walking their dogs through an open field. The owners all performed the exact same actions. When they reached a predesignated point in the field, marked by a target painted on the ground, they began breathing heavily, coughed, gasped, clutched their arm, fell over, and then lay motionless on the ground. A video camera hidden in a tree recorded what their dogs did next. In particular, the researchers were curious to see whether the dogs would seek help from a stranger sitting ten meters away.

The dogs - from a variety of breeds, including collies, German shepherds, rottweilers, and poodles - didn't do much to promote the theory of canine intelligence. They spent some time nuzzling and pawing their owners before taking the opportunity to roam around aimlessly. Only one dog- a toy poodle- directly made contact with the stranger. It ran over and jumped in the person's lap - not because it was trying to signal that its owner was in distress, but because it wanted to be petted. It probably figured, Uh-oh! My owner's dead I need someone to adopt me!

Concerned that the heart-attack scenario may have been too subtle for the dogs - perhaps they thought their owners were just taking a nap - and that the presence of the passive stranger might have suggested to the dogs that nothing was wrong, the researchers designed a second, more dramatic test.

The Second Experiment: Trapped Under a Bookcase

They arranged for each of fifteen dog owners to bring their dogs into an obedience school, greet a person in the front lobby, and then walk into a second room, where a bookcase then fell on the person. (Or, at least, the bookcase appeared to fall on the person. In reality, the researchers had shown each dog owner how to pull the piece of furniture down in such a way that it would look like an accident without actually hurting the person.) Pinned beneath the shelves, each owner let go of his or her dog's leash and began imploring the animal to get help from the person in the lobby.

Once again, the canine response to the emergency was somewhat lacking. The dogs spent a good deal of time standing by their owners, wagging their tails, but not a single one went to get help. The researchers concluded that "the fact that no dog solicited help from a bystander - neither when its owner had a ‘heart attack' nor when its owner was toppled by a bookcase and called for help - suggests that dogs did not recognize these situations as emergencies and/or did not understand the need to obtain help from a bystander." In other words, don't expect Fido to save your life.

The researchers were quick to point out that in some cases, dogs clearly have saved their owner's lives by seeking help. The media loves to report these stories, since they provide feel-good tales to end news broadcasts with - "Stay tuned for the dog that dialed 911!" But the researchers argue that such stories should not be considered indicative of typical dog behavior. So much for the urban legend of the life-saving pooch.

Did Timmy Actually Fall Down a Well?

And while we're on the subject of urban legends, here's another one. "Timmy fell down a well" is perhaps the most quoted line from the Lassie TV show. So much so that Jon Provost the actor who played Timmy, titled his autobiography Timmy's in the Well. However, although Timmy endured many calamities during the show - including falling into a lake, getting caught in quicksand, and being struck by a hit-and-run driver - he never once fell down a well.

Macpherson, K., & W.A. Roberts (2006). "Do Dogs (Canis familiaris) Seek Help in an Emergency?" Journal of Comparative Psychology 120 (2): 113-19.

This article, titled "Lassie, Get Help!" is reprinted here with permission. The internal headings are added here for clarity and ease-of-reading on your browser.

Alex Boese, author of the popular book (and website) Museum of Hoaxes and Hippo Eats Dwarf, is back with another excellent read: Elephants on Acid and Other Bizarre Experiments.

In this book, Alex described real scientific experiments that are outrageous, amusing, and bizarre.

Why can't people tickle themselves? Would an average dog summon help in an emergency? Will babies instinctively pick a well-balanced diet?

Find out the answers in Alex Boese's Elephants on Acid and Other Bizarre Experiments [Amazon].

The following is an article from Bathroom Readers' Institute 13th edition Uncle John's All-Purpose Extra Strength Bathroom Reader.

They say art imitates life, but sometimes the facts get screwed up. And in Hollywood, truth inevitably takes a back seat to drama. Here are a few examples.

The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957, Alec Guinness, William Holden, Sessue Hayakawa)

The movie plot: British POWs in WWII Burma are forced to build a railway bridge for their cruel Japanese captors. Using superior British know-how, they succeed. British commander, Col. Nicholson takes such pride in the construction that at first he defends it against saboteurs, but then comes to his senses and blows it up himself.

The real story: The POWs actually built two bridges. And they used Japanese know-how, not British. The Japanese weren't all cruel. In fact, the real British commander, Lt. Col. Toosey, testified on behalf of Japanese commander Major Saito at his war crimes trial, saving him from a death sentence. The bridges were destroyed two years later, by the RAF, not saboteurs.

The English Patient (1996, Ralph Fiennes, Kristin Scott Thomas, Juliette Binoche)

The movie plot: French-Canadian nurse cares for dashing Count Laszlo Almasy (Ralph Fiennes), a burn victim, in a Tuscan villa at the end of WWII. Using flashbacks, the film recounts Almasy's illicit love affair with a friend's wife (Kristin Scott Thomas), his devotion to her and her tragic death. As he lays dying, his last thoughts are of her.

The real story: The real Count Almasy was a puny man with bad teeth. He was gay. He was in love with a German Army officer. He wasn't burned and did not die at the end of WWII. Actually, after the war, he worked as a Soviet spy.

The Sting (1973, Robert Redford, Paul Newman, Robert Shaw)

The movie plot: Two con artists, Gondorf (Newman) and Hooker (Redford) set up an elaborate betting parlor scam on an Irish racketeer to avenge the murder of a fellow grifter. The sting works and the lovable con-man get away with it.

The real story: There really was a Gondorf (but no Hooker). He and his brother really did work this scam. But they did it for money, not for justice. The real "sting" was pulled on an Englishman in 1914 who was cheated out of $10,000. He went to the real police and Gondorf went to a real prison.

Saturday Night Fever (1977, John Travolta, Karen Lynn Gorney)

The movie plot: Bored with his day-to-day life, Tony Manero, a Brooklyn teenager (played by John Travolta) becomes the local Disco king.

The real story: The movie was based on an article in New York magazine by writer Nik Cohn, who supposedly met, and interviewed the real Tony Manero. But it turned out to be a lie - there was no real Tony Manero. In 1997 Cohn admitted he had made the character up.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981, Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, John Rhys-Davies)

The movie plot: Swash-buckling, whip-wielding archeologist Indiana Jones battles the Nazis to locate the mythical Ark of the Covenant, which contains the original Ten Commandments. Good triumphs over evil, and Indie returns to his job as a college professor awaiting his next adventure.

The real story: Jones' character is based on the 18th century inventor (and circus performer)-turned-archeologist, Giovanni Belzoni, who discovered several lost tombs in Egypt's Valley of the Kings. He battled French Egyptologists, not Nazis. And he didn't live happily ever after - he died from dysentery at the age of 55 while searching for the lost city of Timbuktu.

Ah, sportsmanship. It summons up images of competition, camaraderie, broken bones, disembowelment, and brutal, disfiguring death. No wonder players have always had fans to cheer them on.

Dead Goat Polo

Buzkashi - as played in modern day Afghanistan.
See if you can spot the dead, headless goat.
Image: Staff Sgt. Cecilio Ricardo in Mazar-e Sharif, Afghanistan. [Wikipedia]

The modern game of polo, favorite pastime of English aristocrats and snobbish upper-class wannabes, is usually played with a small ball about the size of a billiard ball, and almost never with a human head or a dead goat. But that's how the sport of king's began thousands of years ago under a different name - "bughazi" (also spelled buzkashi [wiki] - Ed).

In fact, bughazi wasn't so much a leisure activity as military training for Persian cavalry, and it was possibly adopted from tribesmen in what is now modern-day Pakistan or Afghanistan.

Aside from the dead goat factor, there were also other differences in play. Instead of four players on a side, for instance, the ancient version involved armies of men - literally - with hundreds or even thousands of players on each side. In fact, it's believed that the first tournament was won by Turkish tribesmen playing against the Persians in 600 BCE.

And although the game was often played with animal heads, the Mongol conqueror Genghis Khan made a popular change, instituting the practice of decapitating military opponents and making a game of their noggins, still in their helmets.

Aztec Paddleball

"Ullamaliztli," a ceremonial ball game played by the Aztecs a few hundred years before the European discovery of America, called for players on two teams to don large stone belts or hip paddles. These paddles were used to bounce a small rubber ball back and forth down a narrow court with inclined stone walls. The players used each others' bodies and walls as they attempted to maneuver the ball into a small stone ring high above mid-court. The game ended when either side scored a goal.

Amazingly enough, the game actually enjoyed long popularity among the native peoples of Mexico and Central America before the Aztecs played it, including the Maya some thousands of years earlier.

Of course, the stakes were a little greater when the Aztecs came to play. In their version of the sport, at the end of the game one of the captains was sacrificed to the gods, giving even more meaning to the phrase "sore loser." (Image: Kåre Thor Olsen [wikipedia])

X-treme Cricket

As with many aspects of their culture, it's unclear exactly what kinds of games the Vikings played, but one thing is certain - their games were incredibly brutal and violent, since they were considered training for personal combat.

From vague descriptions in Icelandic "sagas" - histories of the Vikings that were passed down orally for hundreds of years before finally being transcribed in the 1900s - one ball game sounds a bit like an early and very violent version of cricket. The main difference being that most contemporary cricket players can expect to survive to the end of the game.

Vikings, on the other hand, weren't always so lucky. "Egil and Thord played against Skallagrim, who grew tired and they came off better. But the evening after sunset, Egil and Thord began losing. Skallagrim was filled with such strength that he seized Thord and dashed him to the ground so fiercely that he was crushed by the blow and died on the spot."

Cheese Rolling

Cheese-Rolling in Gloucestershire, England. Image: mike warren [Flickr]

Though it's without a doubt one of the most absurd sports on record, the annual cheese-rolling contest at Cooper's Hill in Gloucestershire, England, is also incredibly dangerous. Which is not surprising when you consider how the sport is played: first, a master of ceremonies gives the countdown - "One to be ready, two to be steady, three to prepare, four to be off" - and then up to 20 contestants chase a seven-pound circular block of cheese down a steep, bumpy hillside, trying to catch it before it gets to the bottom of 300 yards below. Four games are played over the course of one day, including one for women.

Video footage of past events show contestants breaking bones and splitting heads open, in addition to spectators suffering frequent injuries as contestants lose their footing and hurl themselves into the crowds. No one is quite sure how cheese-rolling started, though speculations include ancient pagan fertility rituals or harvest festivals.

From mental_floss' book Forbidden Knowledge: A Wickedly Smart Guide to History's Naughtiest Bits, published in Neatorama with permission. Original title: Working It Out in Court: 4 X-Treme (Aggressive) Sports you Haven't Heard About.

Be sure to visit mental_floss' extremely entertaining website and blog!

The following is reprinted from Uncle John’s Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader.

The Capture of the Pirate Blackbeard by Jean Leon Gerome Ferris, 1718

We've all got an idea of what it was like to be a pirate in the 1700s - but a lot of it is pure Hollywood hooey. Here's a few of our most common misconceptions about pirates … and the truth about them.

NICKNAMES

Why did so many pirates have colorful nicknames like "Blackbeard" and "Half Bottom"? The main reason was to prevent government officials from identifying and persecuting their relatives back home. (How did "Half Bottom" get his nickname? A cannonball shot half his bottom off.)

WALKING THE PLANK

Few (if any) pirate ships ever used "the plank." When pirates took over a ship, they usually let the captured crewmembers choose between joining the pirate crew or jumping overboard. Why go to all the trouble of setting up a plank to walk off? As historian Hugh Rankin put it: "The formality of a plank seems a bit absurd when it was so much easier just to toss a prisoner overboard."

BURIED TREASURE

Another myth. No pirate would have trusted his captain to bury treasure for him. According to pirate expert Robert Ritchie, "The men who turned to piracy did so because they wanted money. As soon as possible after capturing a prize they insisted on dividing the loot, which they could then gamble with or carry home. The idea of burying loot on a tropical island would have struck them as insane."

BOARDING A SHIP BY FORCE

It's a scene from the movies: A pirate ship pulls up alongside another ship, and then the pirates swing across on ropes and storm the ship. But how realistic is this scene? Not very, experts say. Most ship captains owned their cargos, which were usually fully insured. They preferred to surrender the minute they were approached by a pirate ship, seeing piracy as one of the costs of doing business.

THE JOLLY ROGER (SKULL AND CROSSBONES)

Pirates used a variety of flags to communicate. The Jolly Roger was used to coerce nearby ships into allowing the pirates to board. But it wasn't the only flag of choice - some pirate ships preferred flags with hourglasses on them (to let would-be victims know that time was running out); others used black or red flags. How did the Jolly Roger get its name? Nobody knows for sure - although some historians believe it comes from the English pronunciation of Ali Raja, the Arabic words for "King of the Sea." (Image source: Jolly Roger [wikipedia])

PIRATE SHIPS

In the movies they're huge - but in real life they were much smaller. "Real Pirates," one expert writes, "relied on small, swift vessels and hit-and-run attacks."

ROWDINESS

Not all pirate ships were rough-and-tumble. Pirates often operated under a document that had some similarity to a constitution. Here are a few of the articles from an agreement drawn up by the crew of Captain John Phillips in 1723.

1. Every man shall obey civil Command; the Captain shall have one full Share and a half in all prizes; the Master, Carpenter, Boatswain, and Gunner shall have one share and a quarter. 2. If any man shall offer to run away, or keep any Secret from the Company, he shall be maroon'd with one Bottle of Powder, one Bottle of Water, one small Arm, and Shot. 3. If any Man shall steal any Thing in the Company, or game, to the Value of a Piece of Eight, he shall be maroon'd or shot. 4. That Man that shall strike another whilst those Articles are in force, shall receive Moses's Law (that is 40 stripes lacking one) on the bare Back. 5. That Man that shall not keep his Arms clean, fit for an Engagement, or neglect his Business, shall be cut off from his Share, and suffer such other Punishment as the Captain and the Company shall think fit. 6. If any Man shall lose a Joint in time of an Engagement, shall have 400 Pieces of Eight; if a limb 800. 7. If at any time you meet with a prudent Woman, that Man that offers to meddle with her, without her Consent, shall suffer Death.

On the long list of unpleasant ways to die, it's hard to imagine anything topping "exploding colon." We'll take the stomach flu, heartburn, death by paper cuts even! Just please, please, spare us these fates.

1. Farting to Death

Sounds like a third-grade punch line, but maybe it's so funny because it's true. The average person expels about a half liter of gas per day. Put bluntly, that's somewhere between 13 and 17 daily farts. And although any 11-year-old with a matchbook and curiosity knows that gas passed is flammable (since it contains primarily hydrogen and methane), it's not dangerous for the excessively gassy to work around open flames.

Once in a while, though, someone will blow up from gas. The problem usually occurs during colonic surgery, when heat (or spark) comes into contact with flammable intestinal gases after inadequate "bowel evacuation." The resulting explosion is sometimes fatal.

Anyone who's ever suffered from colon surgery can tell you exactly what "bowel evacuation" entails - you drink a laxative the day before surgery and find yourself in the bathroom with enough time to read Anna Karenina. Unpleasant, sure, but better than blowing up on the operating table.

2. Pica

Pica, an eating disorder in which sufferers feel compelled to eat nonfood items, is usually seen in children. At least 10% of kids enjoy eating dirt or paste or plaster, but adults suffering from pica often develop unusual tastes.

Strangely, the same such cravings pop up so often they have their own names. Pagophagia is the compulsive eating of ice; coprophagia describes eating (often animal) feces; coniophagia involves - get this - the pathological consumption of dust from Venetian blinds.

And pica can be fatal. Too much plaster might lead to fatal lead poisoning, for instance, and consuming clay can lead to a potentially deadly intestinal blockage. (Image: Baobao, an 18-year-old Mongolian girl eating dirt)

3. Roundworms

About 25% of the world's population is infected with roundworms (that's Ascaris lumbricoides to the Latin scholars), which is even more disconcerting when you consider that one generally contracts roundworms by swallowing egg-ridden human feces. Once infected, the eggs hatch in the stomach and intestines, then migrate throughout the body.

Although completely disgusting, roundworms are only occasionally deadly - they can cause edema in the lungs; and the female worms, which can grow 18 inches long, sometimes perforate the intestines, leading to peritonitis.

But the most terrifying wormy complication involves anesthesia. Because worms find anesthesia irritating, they sometimes migrate up the trachea and nasal passages or down the intestines during surgery. It's been reported, for instance, that one pregnant woman had several of the nematodes worm out of her nose and mouth while she was giving birth.

4. Celiac Sprue

Dieters seeking low-carb lifestyle might do well to seek out celiac sprue, an intestinal ailment that amounts to an allergy to the protein gluten - found in such foods as wheat, barley, and rye.

When celiac sufferers ingest the dreaded stuff, the immune system responds by attacking the small intestine, which leads to a sort of intestinal baldness. Villi, hairlike protruberances that line the small intestine, absorb nutrients into the body, but when people with celiac eat gluten, the villi get flattened or otherwise damaged, making proper nourishment impossible.

If left undiagnosed, celiac can lead to massive malnutrition, wasting, and even death. But people with celiac can lead perfectly healthy lives provided they forswear gluten. Which means no beer. Which is, frankly, unacceptable.

5. Megacolon

A blessedly uncommon but life-threatening disorder, megacolon is characterized by the one-two punch of a massively inflated colon (one), and the accompanying abdominal distension (two). Although generally a complication of bowel diseases like ulcerative colitis and Crohn's disease, megacolon occasionally develops from severe - and we mean severe - constipation.

One such example is on display at Philadelphia's Mütter Museum, which collects all manner of medical oddities (from John Wilkes Booth's thorax to a tumor removed from President Grover Cleveland's jaw). The crown jewel of the Mütter Museum's collection is a five-foot-long megacolon. Bearing a distinct resemblance to Jabba the Hutt, the monstrosity was removed from a man who, unable to move his bowels, died with 40 pounds of excrement in his gut. (Image: Colonic Association, warning: gruesome!)

From mental_floss' book Forbidden Knowledge: A Wickedly Smart Guide to History's Naughtiest Bits, published in Neatorama with permission.

Be sure to visit mental_floss' extremely entertaining website and blog!

The following is reprinted from Uncle John's Legendary Lost Bathroom Reader.

What is America's favorite drug? You guessed it - caffeine. We use more caffeine than all other drugs - legal or illegal - combined. Want to know what the stuff is doing to you? Here's a quick overview.

BACKGROUND

HOW CAFFEINE PICKS YOU UP

JAVA JUNKIES

CAFFEINE'S EFFECTS

CAFFEINE FACTS