Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website.

This Labor Day, September 5th, the annual Muscular Dystrophy Telethon will be aired. But unlike every previous telethon for M.D. since 1966 (that's the past 45 years!) one important ingredient will be missing this year. Jerry Lewis!!!

What, no Jerry Lewis on the M.D. Telethon? Kind of like a beach with no bikinis, a cowboy movie with no guns, or, to use a more precise analogy: Christmas without Santa Claus. For a majority of Americans, the M.D. Telethon was always "The Jerry Lewis Telethon."

After earning over $2 billion dollars for his pet cause (and Jerry's Kids), Mr. Lewis was recently very unceremoniously dumped by the M.D. Board of Directors. At the ripe old age of 85, Jerry Lewis, humanitarian and comedy legend, is still alive and well (okay, he admittedly needs to take a couple of dozen pills every day to keep rolling). Let's take a look at eleven facts you may not have known about the only and only Mr. Jerry Lewis, "The King of Comedy."

1. He's wrong about his show business debut (at least the date). Jerry has always claimed he made his show biz debut at the age of 5, singing "Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?" Jerry's story is that he sang the song before a crowd and accidentally kicked out a light and got his first laugh. Probably true enough, but he couldn't have been 5, as the song "Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?" wasn't written until 1932, which would have made little Jerry six. A minor point? True, but one wonders why Jerry has never corrected the "date confusion" in all these years.

3. He never wears the same socks twice. Jerry never forgot his early years, his poverty, and the holes in his socks. Thumbing his nose at the past, Jerry will never wear the same pair of socks more than once. He just wears a pair and throws it out. 

4. He sometimes carries his Oscar around. In 2009, Jerry was awarded a "Lifetime Achievement Academy Award" (deservedly so!) for his years of accomplishment. Unlike most other Oscar winners, Jerry sometimes carries his Academy Award around with him. At the Cannes Film Festival in 2009, Jerry pulled it out of a duffel bag at a press conference.  

5. He edits other people's films. A devoted movie fan, Jerry often screens films at his home. When a part of a film bothers or irritates him, Jerry simply takes the film and cuts out the offending scene on his own editing machine. 

6. He always called his partner Dean Martin "Paul." Jerry and his partner Dean Martin were the hottest act in show business for the ten-year partnership (1946-1956). For some reason, Jerry never called Dean "Dean," he always used Martin's middle name "Paul" instead.  

7. Family Jewels remake with John Travolta? Jerry recently met with John Travolta, where the two discussed Travolta starring in a remake of Jerry's 1965 film The Family Jewels, in which Jerry played seven different roles. John  wants to star in the film with his daughter, Ella Bleu.

8. He turned down Some Like It Hot. Jerry was offered the Jack Lemmon role by director Billy Wilder in the 1959 classic comedy Some Like It Hot, but turned it down. Every time Jerry would run into Billy Wilder, Wilder would say, "Schmuck!" Jack Lemmon would send Jerry Flowers every year.

Here we are, at the intersection of video game and board game. Elisabeth Redel made a Monopoly game for her boyfriend fashioned after the video game Fallout! The streets are locations from the game instead of Atlantic City. Even the cards are Fallout-oriented. See more pictures at Geeks Are Sexy. Link

This Twaggie is based on a Tweet by @thesulk. If true, it would go a long way toward explaining why Rachmaninov's music is so difficult for us mere mortals to play. Link

Previously at Neatorama: Another possible explanation.

(YouTube link)

By OK Go (with help from The Muppets). This is from The Green Album, available as of today. And it's not over when the fat lady sings! -via Metafilter

The following is an article from Uncle John's Heavy Duty Bathroom Reader.

If you've ever visited the Middle East, you know that when American TV programs are shown on Arab TV, culturally sensitive content is often altered or removed. Turns out some hows aren't so easy to "Arabize."

MUST-SEE TV

In late 1991, the Middle East Broadcasting Corporation (MBC) went on the air for the first time. It was the Arab world's first privately owned, independent satellite TV network, and the first to offer 24 hours of Arabic language television programming free of charge to anyone with a satellite dish.

Other networks soon sprung up, creating a huge demand for content to fill the airwaves. In the years that followed, countless American TV shows -everything from Friends to The Late Show with David Letterman to Two and a Half Man to McGyver to Dr. Phil and Oprah- found their way onto these channels, either dubbed into Arabic or broadcast with Arabic subtitles, and with culturally offensive subject matter toned down or removed entirely.

Shows that appealed to younger audiences were especially popular. In some countries as much as 60 percent of the population was under 20 years of age, and the numbers remain high today. So it was probably inevitable that sooner or later, one of the Arab networks would set its sights on The Simpsons, one of the most successful shows in American TV history, and try to bring it to the Middle East. In 2005, MBC did just that.

HOMER OF ARABIA

No expense was spared to prepare The Simpsons for the Arab market. The Arab world's best TV writers were hired to translate episodes into Arabic, and A-list actors and actresses were hired to provide new voices for the characters. To make the show seem less "foreign," Homer Simpson was renamed Omar Shamshoon, and the show itself was renamed Al Shamshoon -"The Shamshoons." (Marge Simpson became Mona Shamshoon, Bart became Badr, and Lisa became Beesa.) Each episode that was selected for translation into Arabic was carefully reviewed to remove anything that might be offensive to Muslims. For example, where Homer Simpson drinks Duff beer (Islam forbids the consumption of alcohol), Omar Shamshoon drinks Duff fruit juice. Homer eats hot dogs (which commonly contain pork, also forbidden) and donuts (which are unfamiliar to most Arabs), but Omar eats Egyptian beef sausage links and khak cookies, which, like donuts, are often made with a hole in the middle.

World War II Bulgaria didn’t have a Schindler, and it didn’t have a list. It had a white-bearded mystic named Peter Deunov and an entire nation standing behind him. Together, they saved Bulgaria’s 48,000 Jews from the Holocaust.

Bulgaria wasn’t in the best position during the Second World War. Fenced in by the Soviet Union on one side and Europe on the other, it was forced into the middle of the action. That’s why it’s all the more impressive that Bulgaria is one of only three mainland European nations where the entire Jewish population survived the Holocaust. (Denmark and Finland were the other two, but their relatively small Jewish populations were geographically isolated.) For staying strong in the face of Hitler and his Nazi directives, the Bulgarians credit one man—Christian mystic Peter Deunov. As Albert Einstein would later say, “The whole world bows down before me. I bow down before the master Peter Deunov.”

Philosophical Fitness

Peter Deunov’s philosophy wouldn’t appear to be anything revolutionary at first. He based his beliefs on those of Christ and preached universal love and religious tolerance—only with a more mystical, cosmic slant. Known as Master Beinsa Douno, he garnered a following in Bulgaria in the early 20th century for his teachings, now known as Esoteric Christianity. In fact, during Deunov’s time serving as the Vatican’s ambassador to Bulgaria, the future Pope John XXIII called him “the greatest philosopher living on the Earth.”

But Deunov had his controversial qualities, too. A strong believer in astrology and phrenology (determining personality traits based on the shape of people’s skulls), Deunov also considered physical fitness to be crucial to spiritual development. He designed health camps for his disciples that included climbing to the 9,600-foot summit of Musala, Bulgaria’s highest peak. In addition, he promoted strict vegetarianism and liberal doses of water. But perhaps most controversial was his belief in Paneurhythmy (“sublime cosmic rhythm”), sacred dances Deunov invented to utilize “positive energies.” Unnerved by some of his more unusual ideas, the powerful Bulgarian Orthodox Church went so far as to denounce his teachings.



But far beyond scaling mountains and preaching the joys of good health, Deunov advocated world peace. Unfortunately, that too was seen as contentious by some. During one of his lectures in 1917, he spoke out against Bulgaria’s entry into World War I on the side of the Central Powers. Although Deunov would later prove to be right about that decision, that didn’t stop the government from exiling him for a year.

Avoidance Tactics

At the start of World War II, Bulgaria picked the losing side again. Hoping to reclaim the ancestral lands it’d lost during WWI (Thrace and Macedonia), Bulgaria joined the Axis powers in 1941. And although the Nazis did gain control of those territories, Bulgaria reclaimed them in name only. What’s worse, Hitler forced the Bulgarian government to pass oppressive laws against its Jews as part of the deal.

A tiny black and white kitten was found at a dump in Nanaimo, British Columbia, and taken to the local SPCA shelter. He had been dropped there by a red-tailed hawk!

"He was dropped by the hawk from not a great height, so he didn't suffer any broken bones. He has a slightly injured foot, which has healed, and he had some talon punctures in his side, which has now been treated by a vet and have healed also," shelter manager Leon Davis said.

He said that the dump keeps birds of prey around to scare pigeons away and stop them from roosting on neighbourhood homes.

Shelter staff named the kitten Hawk, and he will be adopted out when fully recovered. The red-tailed hawks are employed by the dump to keep pigeons away. Link (with video) -via Arbroath

The following is an article from Uncle John’s Great Big Bathroom Reader.

Ask any film buff to name the worst directors of all-time, and you can be sure Ed Wood's name will come up. He's become a legend for films like Plan 9 From Outer Space -a movie so bad it needs to be seen just to be believed. This piece was written by someone who knew him -in fact, the reluctant star of Plan 9, Gregory Walcott.

The Connection

Early in our marriage, Barbara and I lived in a cottage just across the street from the First Baptist Church of Beverly Hills. Ed Reynolds, a chubby little man who attended the church, had come out to Hollywood from Alabama to make Biblical films. He talked to me occasionally, knowing I was in the movie industry, about his "calling" to produce religious movies with life-embracing themes. I tried not to encourage him, knowing he had no background in film production. Naive individuals like Reynolds are easy bait for Hollywood hucksters.

Reynolds' Big Break

About a year later, Reynolds came to me and said he was going to finance a film starring Bela Lugosi. He wanted me to play the young romantic lead. I said to him, "But Ed, Bela Lugosi is DEAD!"

Reynolds said, "Well, that's not a problem. There's a very ingenious director, Ed Wood, who has some excellent footage of Lugosi, and he has written a very clever screenplay around that film."

"But Ed, I thought you wanted to make religious pictures!"



"Yes! That's the ultimate plan. But Biblical pictures with big sets, large casts and costumes are very expensive. This fellow, Wood, has convinced me that by making a few exploitation films, I can build up my bankroll to where I can then make big budget Biblical films."

I had never heard of Ed Wood, so I asked to see the script. It was the most atrocious piece of writing I had ever seen. A child could have written better dialog. I said, "Ed, this is a terrible script, and I hate to see you get involved in this project and lose your money."

"No, no! I want you to meet the director," he insisted. "I'll arrange a luncheon."

Reynolds was dazzled by Hollywood and couldn't be dissuaded.

Before the meeting, I looked into Wood's background, and discovered he had done a few cheesy low-budget pictures. It was incongruous that sweet, sincere Reynolds, who wanted to produce inspirational Biblical motion pictures, would be connected with Wood, whose movies could only be booked in fleabag theaters on back streets.

Meeting the Auteur

At the luncheon, I found Wood to be a charmingly handsome man, who gushed about how perfect I would be working with a top-notch Hollywood crew and a good cast.

by Gregory J. Gage†, Hirak Parikh†, Timothy C. Marzullo††
† University of Michigan, Department of Biomedical Engineering
†† University of Michigan, Neuroscience Program

Here we explain most of the mysteries concerning the brain.

We report the “Cingular Theory of Uni?cation,” which postulates that one brain region— the “cingulate cortex”—is the alpha and omega, responsible for all of humankind’s functions. We believe that this theory not only explains the available data, but also prophesizes exponential growth in cingulate research that will dominate all neuroscience research. We provide humble advice on how to avoid such an apocalyptic future.

The History and Mystery of the Cingulate Cortex

Since the discovery of the small strip of brain called the cingulate cortex in the early 19th century, research has progressed from a trickle of studies to a torrent of investigations threatening to flood the field of neuroscience completely. In these ensuing years the cingulate has been found to play a vital role in almost all human emotions and behaviors, from error prediction to pain perception, and from political persuasion to one’s feeling of optimism. But with so many functions, it has been difficult to answer this simple question: what exactly is the role of the cingulate?

The Mystery and History of the Cingulate Cortex

The cingulate cortex resides in a ring-like strip of brain tissue in the center fold of the neocortex surrounding the lateral ventricles. The shape of this brain region presumably inspired the German physiologists1 who discovered it to name it the “cingulate,” derived from the Latin cingulum, meaning a belt worn by Roman soldiers to protect their groin. But like many great discoveries, it took much time for the cingulate to grab hold of the conservative scientific community. Since the early 1900s, sporadic reports have described the neural correlates of the cingulate cortex. However, compared to flood of motor, visual and auditory papers, the cingulate reports were a mere trickle. The fault was not of the carpenters, but of the tools that they were using.

Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website.

Tens of thousands of games have been played in the history of Major League Baseball. But on August 19th, 1951, the strangest baseball at-bat ever recorded took place in Sportsman's Park in St. Louis. It was on that day, sixty years ago, that a 3'7" player came to bat. Edward Carl Gaedel was born on June 8, 1925.

His parents and siblings were all of normal stature, but Eddie, for some unknown reason, just stopped growing sometime during his term in elementary school. According to his sister, "He cried a lot because people used to bother him. He'd come home swearing."

As an adult, Eddie found work as a mascot for Mercury Records and during World War II Eddie had found employment as a riveter (his stature made it easy for him to crawl inside the wings of planes). By 1951, Eddie was working as a bartender at "The Midget Club," a bar in Chicago that employed only little people.

In 1951, Bill Veeck was the colorful owner of the St. Louis Browns, the worst team in baseball. Veeck was known for thinking up wild publicity stunts to help draw crowds in to come and watch the pathetic, perennial cellar-dwelling Browns. The original idea of a little person batting in a baseball game had been used in a 1941 short story (no pun intended) by James Thurber called "You Could Look It Up" (Veeck always denied the story was his inspiration).

In mid-August of 1951, Bill Veeck gave his car keys to the Brown's public relations man, Jay Edson. Edson was told to go to the given address in Chicago and pick up a guy called Eddie Gaedel. "He's a midget," said Veeck.

"A midget?" inquired Edson, slightly surprised. "

Yes," intoned Veeck. Gaedel was picked up at his Chicago address, driven to St. Louis, and smuggled into the Chase hotel, wrapped in a blanket. A double-header was scheduled between the Browns and the Detroit Tigers the next day.

The crowd of 18,369 had been promised "a festival of surprises" by Veeck. Between games, Eddie popped out of a giant plastic cake, in celebration of the 50th anniversary of the American League and in celebration of the Falstaff brewery. Gaedel's appearance brought happy laughter from the crowd, who at the time had no idea of the strange baseball history soon to be made. In the bottom of the first inning of game two, the surprised crowd looked on as St. Louis manager Zach Taylor sent Eddie Gaedel up to pinch-hit for lead-off batter Frank Saucier.

Eddie came to the on-deck circle swinging three toy bats. He tossed two to the side and walked to the plate carrying his toy bat, the smallest bat ever to be used in a Major League baseball game. Gaedel wore a borrowed batboy's uniform which sported the number 1/8. The crowd, at first surprised, was quiet, then burst into raucous laughter.

Ed Hurley, the home plate umpire, was duly shown Gaedel's contract (legally signed a few days earlier and wired to Major League offices) and Eddie stood at the plate, in a slight batter's crouch. Before he came to the plate, Gaedel had been warned solemnly by Bill Veeck that he'd have a rifle aimed at his head and if he dared swing, he'd pull the trigger. (In Thurber's short story, the LP had swung on ball four and grounded out, ending the game.)

Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website.

Madame Fatal is hardly up there in the pantheon of famous and beloved comic book superheroes. Batman, Superman, Iron Man, Captain America, and the Fantastic Four probably never lost any sleep over this rival comic hero possibly replacing them in their fan's hearts.

'Madame Fatal (sometimes spelled "Madam Fatal") is a fictional character and superhero active during the Golden Age of comic books. Madame Fatal was created and originally illustrated by artist/writer Art Pinajian. The debut of the character was in Crack Comics #1 (May 1940). This was a crime/detective anthology published by Quality Comics. Madame Fatal continued in the series until issue #22, but was not at all popular or well-received.

The character later appeared in a few DC Comics, after they had purchased the rights to the character in 1956, along with a bulk buy-out of all the Quality Comics characters. Even so, Madame Fatal was never much seen except for a few brief appearances and passing mentions from other comic book characters.

Madame Fatal is notable for being a male superhero who dressed up as an elderly woman to fight crimes. As such, he was the first cross-dressing comic book superhero. (Interestingly, later that same year, The Red Tornado became the first female cross-dressing superhero (superheroine?). The Red Tornado proved to be much more popular and successful than Madame Fatal.

O.K, the basic premise goes like this: Richard Stanton is a highly intelligent, highly athletic, successful, world-famous actor. He is dapper, middle-aged, blonde, Caucasian (aren't all superheroes?) and smokes a pipe. His daughter is kidnapped and he needs the help of police, who get nowhere at all. During the kidnapping ordeal, his wife dies of a broken heart. So, Stanton (as do many other superheroes during their genesis) decides to don a disguise, take on an alter ego, and take matters into his own hands.

He adopts the identity of a red-cloaked, elderly woman who carries a red walking stick. The red cane is used as her main weapon, and this, along with his (her?) superior intellect, athleticism, and deductive crime-solving abilities, helps Madame Fatal become a crime fighter and superhero. Using this disguise, he is able to save his daughter.

Richard Stanton decides to retire from acting and devote his life to conquering crime and criminals as the red cane-wielding Madame Fatal. The Madame Fatal character was ridiculed, because of the cross-dressing angle, from the very beginning.

An article in Cracked lists Madame Fatal as one of the "7 Crappiest Superheroes in Comic Book History." Many modern readers interpreted the cross-dressing of Madame Fatal as a thinly-disguised attempt to actually portray comic's first gay superhero, although this angle was never expressly acknowledged.Creator Pinjian's actual intentions regarding the character are unknown. 

Madame Fatal had a short life span. The character was very briefly mentioned in later comic books, but there have been thinly-veiled references to Madame Fatal over the years. The most recent time Madame Fatal was mentioned (or seen) was in DC Comics in 1999.

The character was the butt of a gay joke (no pun intended, I swear). A scene in an August 1999 issue of Justice Society of America depicts the funeral of the first Sandman. Wildcat wonders whether his own funeral "will be like the time they buried Madame Fatal here, and no one turned up for the funeral but the touring cast of La Cage Aux Folles?" That would seem to imply the fact that Madame Fatal is dead in the DC Comics universe.

Madame Fatal probably suffered the most gut-wrenching type of death any comic book character can experience. More excruciating than death by gun, knives, clubs, or being lowered into a pool of acid. Madame Fatal suffered the very worst type of death -death by unpopularity.

Arturas Zuokas, mayor of Vilnius, Lithuania, had enough. The mayor was so fed up with illegal parking that he took a spin in a Russian armored personnel carrier, crushing an illegally parked Mercedes along the way.

He said: ”I wanted to send a clear message that people with big and expensive cars can’t park wherever they feel like and ignore the rights of pedestrians and bike riders.

”It shows a lack of respect and won’t be tolerated. Of course, you have to have a sense of humour in my line of work and I thought this would be a way of drawing attention to the fact that the city intends to be proactive in its fight against illegal parking.”

That's at least one driver who won't be parking in the wrong place anymore. Link -via Arbroath

Neatorama presents a guest post from actor, comedian, and voiceover artist Eddie Deezen. Visit Eddie at his website.

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

When the boys came out to play,

Georgie Porgie ran away.

Most of us heard this little nursery rhyme when we were kids. Of course, Georgie Porgie, nowadays, would undoubtedly be sued in a class-action for sexual harassment by the ACLU. But who was the real "Georgie Porgie"?

There are two possible historical candidates. One was George Villiers (1592-1628), the handsome son of an insignificant nobleman who soon climbed his way into great favor with King James I.

Rumor has it that he and the king were more than just good friends. This would certainly explain why, within two years, Villiers was made an Earl and then a Marquess. Five years later, at just 31 years old, George became the first Duke of Buckingham. The nursery rhyme is said to ridicule both King James I and George Villiers over their open romantic interest in each other. In fact, the king even proclaimed openly that "You may be sure that I love the Duke of Buckingham more than I love anyone else and I wish not to have that thought to be a defect."

It is now believed by historians studying court diaries and correspondence that the pair were, indeed, lovers. But George Villiers liked to go both ways and also had many affairs with many young ladies of the court, as well as the wives and daughters of powerful Englishmen. This caused resentment all around, but his relationship with the king gave him a certain amount of immunity.

It has also been said that he forced his affections on other unwilling ladies of privileged position ("Georgie Porgie... kissed the girls and made them cry") while managing to avoid confrontation or retaliation ("When the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away").

The other candidate for "Georgie Porgie" is the Prince Regent (later King) George IV (1762-1830), the hapless son (said to have "half a brain") of mad King George III. Immensely fat ("Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie"), his corset wearing was a constant source of ridicule and satirical cartoons.

By 1797, his weight had reached 245 pounds, and by 1824, his corsets were being made for a waist of fifty inches. This George was unequivocally straight, but he took advantage of his position much like George Villiers had done.

He had a roving eye for the ladies; attractive female visitors who came to parties he gave were often advised not to be left alone with him. His checkered love life included several mistresses, illegitimate children, and even bigamy. George IV had an "official wife," Caroline of Brunswick, who he detested so much he even banned her from his coronation, and an "unofficial" wife, Maria Anne Fitzherbert. She was both a Catholic and a commoner, so their marriage was not formally recognized and remained a secret. He managed to make both women miserable, as well as many other women he forced himself on ("Kissed the girls and made them cry").

In addition to his crude, uncouth love life, George loved watching prizefighting (bare-knuckle boxing), which at the time was illegal. His own physical and emotional cowardice was legendary. This is illustrated by a story of the most infamous prizefight of the day, where one contestant died from his injuries. George was known to have been present at the fight, but when the man died, he ran away, terrified of being implicated in the fallout, and attempted to conceal his presence at the match. ("When the boys came out to play, Georgie Porgie ran away").

(YouTube link) (Original video source/Nico)

Take a 150-year-old British story, soak it in the culture of cute Japanese anime, and run it through the technology of Vocaloid audio recording and animation software, and you end up with a cartoon production that resembles a Broadway musical! -Thanks, Daniel!

Astronomers have discovered a new source of meteor showers, very likely from a comet, that may be coming to an Earth near you. While explaining why we shouldn't panic at the news, Dr. Phil Plait gives us a great analogy for understanding meteor showers.

If the path of the comet intersects the orbit of the Earth, we plow through that material at the same time every year. Think of it this way: imagine a racetrack, and you are driving around it. Now also imagine a long line of gnats flying across the racetrack. You would drive through that line of bugs at the same point on the racetrack every time, right? OK, replace you with the Earth, the racetrack with the Earth’s orbit, and the bugs with debris shed off a comet. Since the Earth returns to the same point in its orbit every year, if there is cometary debris there, we’ll smack into it at roughly the same calendar day every year.

This loose stuff from the comet burns up in our atmosphere, and we get a meteor shower.

Find out more about the specific new information from the Cameras for Allsky Meteor Surveillance, or CAMS. at Bad Astronomy Blog. Link