Dear Deborah and Wayne,

We have forwarded your complaint to our squirrel representative, Chippy. Here is Chippy's response:

"Chk chpp cht cht cht cht cht cht skrkrkrkrk. Cht chee chp chp chp chp skrrrittt-t-t-t-t-t-t chp chp. Chp cht cht cht cht skrit chp."

We hope this clears things up.

The Neatorama staff

Just needs a waistcoat and a pocket watch.

John Baldessari, "Wrong," 1967
http://artscenecal.com/ArtistsFiles/BaldessariJ/BaldessariJFile/BaldessariJPics/JBaldessari8.html

Long Beach resident, Armada fan. It's real.

That money for this particular internship is for charity - the Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights. You can still become an intern at Huffington Post the old fashioned way - through hard work and enthusiasm.

The men and women who fight for our countries fight for our freedom - they are without a doubt heroes. Bad wars are the fault of bad government - not the heroes that shed blood and tears for the sake of the countries we live in. Army Major Phil Packer is a true hero - still giving in spite of what he lost - regardless of what anyone might think of the "illegal, immoral war."

Chuck Norris' buns of steel crush those that steal buns.

Renaissance Fair Speak (fake Elizabethan) uses the same rules but adds that sentence structure is more like... well, try talking like Yoda but with an English accent. And no cockney!

Not the nicest imagery for the aria from La Wally.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYUYbCksbjk

But intriguing, I must say.

I gots it from teh internets.

Excellent. This was the one thing I had hoped was real. Huzzah!

My hero!

It's a doll. Let the children play.

Umerikurr imprrehshun! Not bad, really. Probably better than an American could do a British accent (assuming there's just on British accent, heh).

Brad Pitt in Snatch is brought to mind - he didn't want to butcher an accent so he came up with the brilliant idea to speak in mumbled gobble-de-gook.

Best food-related pun: Milk