At 7" long, this is "The Brass Crayon"...the thing all Unknown Objects must measure up to, or be measured with.
ex... "Say man, that thing on your shoe is about 5 holes long, according to the Brass Crayon...."

How to Believe in Yourself
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First sundial that had the "ish" feature. Times could now be told in the ever so popular "3-ish", "5-ish", etc...

How To Believe in Yourself
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Desk bell armor: For those times when the guy behind the counter REALLY doesn't want to hear it banged on.

"Where the Old Gods Are"
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"The Exhaust Piper".
Replace your car's exhaust with this and sound like Scotland as you drive !

Refuse Tyranny Obey Cthulhu
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It's a very dangerous condiment dispenser.....one end will 'salt you and the other will pepper you !!!!!

Refuse Tyranny Obey Cthulhu
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This is what happens when your weapon designer likes Princess Leia just a little too much........

Canned Octopus
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Salvador Dali's belly button lint remover. (Currently in a private collection).

Indiana Mouse
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Mechanical representation of the essence of a lawyer.

fear vegas
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The traditional tool for preparing "Absinthe corn on the cob".
Slide your corn into the bottom tray, sugar cube (or these days, maybe a cube of slpenda) on top of the prongs, slowly pour your Absinthe.......and bingo ! A tasy treat made by green faeries !!!
* Note that this also works well with candy bars and hot-dogs, too!

Lovecraft's canned octopus
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It is indeed a: 'Dr. Frommer-Richtenstein-Smith's "Fiendishly Clever Nutcracker"'.......(okay, minds out of the gutters, now.....We all know what rhymes with Frommer!!!!).
1. Place a walnut, pecan, beezenberry nut, a.k.a. 'nut of choice', on a plate.......
2. Adopt a menacing look while approaching nut with this, (and maybe doing a little 'snick-snick')...
3. Voila ! The nut will completely jump out of its shell !
As The Institute likes to say: "Needs no crackin' ; sends the nut's clothes packin' ! "

Where the old gods are
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That's a "Pirate Pete's Leg Pointer". Used exclusively at Pirate Pete's custom shops. Remember mateys..."Come to Pirate Pete's, where the prices can't be beat, and you don't have to have two feets".....Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

immortal lovecraft
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For when life gives you square holes that absolutely, positively have to be filled with round pegs.......

immortal lovecraft
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Embarrassing key for public outhouses...

"Where the Old Gods Are"
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"Easy-Bake Microwave Oven" prototype.

One of Two Most Elusive Things in the Universe Found
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Emergency Super Bowl breaker box........'nuff said.

One of Two Most Elusive Things in the Universe Found
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