It's what the inquisition used to force citrus fruits to confess their alliance with satan.

Citrus is so sour because it is in league with the devil. And grapefruits are required by their pact to squirt you in the eye whenever possible. EVIL!

Thesaurus T shirt, XL.

BOOK! or Human skull anatomy puzzle, and I'll buy my own book. :)

Twelve feet!? But how does it taste? (I actually looked this up to make sure twelve feet was right...that's insane!!)

WOOOOOOOT!!! WATCH HAPPY DANCE!!! Thank you, thank you, Neatorama and Tokyoflash!

Waku brown leather silver, please! SO COOOL!

Melon Raper 5000!
(Thesaurus xl)

Slapchop prototype..."Say you got a chicken, running around your yard, you just got home from work. Biz-bang-boom--Chicken cutlets! What a time saver! Slap chop!"

As long as it isn't against your religion, there is nothing wrong with a little buggage on a berry. I cannot imagine washing fruit in Dawn...seems much more people unfriendly than a few tiny bugs.

This is pre-industrial revolution DNA. It used to be made of wood, which is why life expectancy was so short (termites and dry rot). Now we make DNA out of newfangled Deoxyribonucleic acids and whatnots...so fewer termites and longer lives. My grandma (who is really, really, really old--97) had her old wooden DNA replaced in the early 90s, and she keeps it as a lawn ornament; birds poop on it.

(Thesaurus Shirt, Grey, XL)

I feel like a winner already!

Waku Black- Leather, Silver + Blue LED

This would make for some fairly horrible pants updates: scratches butt, adjusts balls, etc. Not a great idea.

I got a call that I had been accepted into a graduate program on April 1st. The grad director thought I was crazy because I kept asking him, "You're serious right?," "No one put you up to this,?" "This isn't a joke?"

He hadn't realized the date when he called. Once I realized he was for real and I made my excited phone calls, no one believed me either.

An Early Victorian IUD. (See ad copy below from the November 1915 issue of Victorian Housewifery Journal).

DON'T DELAY ANOTHER HOUR IN PURCHASING THE Childpruf for Ladies. Don't find yourself "in an interesting situation" or a "delicate condition" again.

You may not be suitable repressed, but no one will ever know with this new product from Lady Prudehomme Sundries of Lower Umptonshire (Lady Prudehomme, prop.) the leading purveyor of quality "unmentionables" in the Greater Lower Umptonshire Area since 1878. Rest assured, this insertable device will make you the picture of steadfast chastity and virtue.

Scratchy but effective: that rope burn means it's working! 7/9 for regular. 10/11 for extra effective.
Discrete shipping.

(Thesaurus shirt, ladies xl...not scratchy.)

We're so used to it, since it's a big 10 school, that one really thinks of it as odd, but the Ohio State Buckeyes IS a weird college mascot. I'm an alum, and I've never quite understood why the mascot is an inedible nut.

The idea is always horrible, a subscription payment makes more sense.