Okay, so.

I love the concept and execution and all, it's a neat little die.

But the idea of actually "using" it as a functional "this event happens 100% of the time" "die roll" is fucking ridiculous. What role playing system would force the DM to make some kind of die roll if the outcome is set?

No, what this die is designed to solve is the need for collectors to have another unique die in their Crown Royal bag. A friend of mine has every exotic die he can lay his hands on, and he might contrive a situation in the game where he can haul out an oddity and roll it just to watch us groan. His heavy machined bronze d6's leave dents in the table and get everyone's attention. I can see him flipping something like this just to make a point.

How about just painting the same number on a six-sided die?

I thought a 1-sided die was a marble.