Marco McClean's Comments
Wine, bleagh.
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It could be other things besides a muzzle. It could be a covid mask (if it covered his nose). It could have a little gun in it with a laser-dot sight that you'd aim with your head and fire by biting down on the trigger. It could be a Pez dispenser, a video projector, a voice SFX box (echo, flanger, etc.), a tele-sex remote kissy-lips thing, and more, all at once.
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It's Colonel Straker's office from the teevee series UFO.
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I suggest 8675 three oh nine. (3:09).
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It's clever that you followed the post about the auto-inflating bike helmet with this post, and its photo of the same development from hundreds of years ago, and modeled by royalty, no less.
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Stephen Baxter's book /Anti-Ice/ is about an alternate world where early-Victorian-era British scientists on an expedition to Antarctica have found a meteorite of special ice with antimatter suspended magnetically in it. One of the first uses of this material is to break the Siege of Sevastopol with a disastrous atomic bomb. Giant land ships and sea ships are built, driven by clockworks metering tiny slivers of anti-ice into boilers. Anti-ice powers a rocket to the moon. An endless supply of anti-ice is found in space. Etc. Here: https://en.everybodywiki.com/Anti-Ice.
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Which part or parts of your body did /you/ hurt, slipping or losing your grip or balance and /rag-dolling down/ through one of these things. I'll start: My side and my back and my elbow and my chin. Nobody saw, and that made it okay. Others were seriously hurt there that year, though, so they declared it off-limits, and when kids played on it anyway, they took it away and replaced it with a sandbox that I never saw anyone even go near.
I remember being seven, alone, as usual, and too high in the angled, slippery, too-big-around to hug sycamore tree in the front yard of a house my mother was selling for the real estate company she worked for. I felt I couldn't move without slipping over and crashing down. Electrified with fear of being discovered and declared an idiot for getting myself into this, let alone fear of falling and dying, I clung, breathing shallowly, /solving the problem/. It turned out that by wiggling slightly, waiting a moment, wiggling again, and continuing in this way I could inch down the incline to where my foot could touch a projection. And eventually down on the ground I determined never to be so stupid as to do anything like that again. /Nothing/ you see on teevee is real. Nothing they tell you or show you. Tarzan? Hah. It's all stories, for fun, or for breakfast cereal or tennis shoes. That was what I learned from climbing trees.
I remember being seven, alone, as usual, and too high in the angled, slippery, too-big-around to hug sycamore tree in the front yard of a house my mother was selling for the real estate company she worked for. I felt I couldn't move without slipping over and crashing down. Electrified with fear of being discovered and declared an idiot for getting myself into this, let alone fear of falling and dying, I clung, breathing shallowly, /solving the problem/. It turned out that by wiggling slightly, waiting a moment, wiggling again, and continuing in this way I could inch down the incline to where my foot could touch a projection. And eventually down on the ground I determined never to be so stupid as to do anything like that again. /Nothing/ you see on teevee is real. Nothing they tell you or show you. Tarzan? Hah. It's all stories, for fun, or for breakfast cereal or tennis shoes. That was what I learned from climbing trees.
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What bugged me about the universal translator was that it somehow also retroactively made every speaker's mouth move to match the receiver's language.
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Zoris. All the health benefits of bare feet without hurting yourself on floor hazards.
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I vote for them doing this all the time so there's a whole channel of it.
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It's armored against someone shooting you but there are plastic gasoline tanks stuck all over the outside. That's what I would have pointed out at the table read.
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I'm glad that you posted it. Not complaining. I just noticed my internal process and described it. /My/ general rule is, if I'm afraid to post something because someone might misunderstand and be mad at me, I'm posting it, over-explaining like Tilly in early Star Trek Discovery, and the hell with them.
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I thought this was funny until the newspeople were gleeful about it, and then it changed for me. What if the man was running from police because he was terrified they were going to kill him? What happened before this? Why were they chasing him in the first place? Even the linked news article doesn't say. He's a suspect, but of what?
Also, for my part, as someone who has been tripped, ow.
Also, for my part, as someone who has been tripped, ow.
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I'm not sure they're playing with a ball. It is a ball, but maybe they think it's some other creature's egg and they're just puzzling at why it won't break open and deliver the goods.
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Also, of course, there's the famous, "You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps, Larry! You see what happens when you feed a stoner scrambled eggs!" in /The Big Lebowsky/.