Actually, that would be either “what thangs” or “why-at thangs”, depending on the area of Appalachia.

When I was in grad school and needed money I participated in a study comparing two different liquid diets that were formulated to be given via NG tube to unconscious trauma patients. Since they needed informed consent, they needed healthy volunteers. For two weeks (one week each for each regimen) I was confined to a hospital bed and fed only NG compatible liquid nutrition (which was nasty) - no real food at all, just this liquid.
After about 3 days I started having dreams about food and hunting (which I didn't do), and by the time it was over I would have eaten fresh roadkill raw.

Umm, how the heck does South Carolina - located between Georgia and North Carolina - miss the cicada party?

Complete and utter rubbish. Leaving aside the fact that many of the "movies" are TV Christmas specials (I love Charlie Brown Christmas more than anything, but it's not a movie), or are movies that have nothing to do with Christmas, any list that substitutes "White Christmas" for "Holiday Inn" can simply be ignored. Plus Elf is hot garbage.

Ummmmm … coffee *is* breakfast for me. It’s not unusual for me to not eat until the evening.

Did she have a beer? Or did she have a Bud Light? Two completely different things.