God, I'd love to hear the soundtrack for this little illustration. I can just imagine it, though... in fact, let me write it:

♬ ♪ Now I've ....had the time of my life ♪♬
♪ No I never felt this way before-- ak- gargle--sppttttttcxgsfpt *EXPLOSIVE DECOMPRESSION*

Probably because you spelled "ophthalmologist" wrong...