Ummmm. I shit you not THERE IS A PEACOCK in my front yard!!!! What do I do? @Alyssa_Milano
Team Twaggies's Blog Posts
Misplaced iPhone for a few minutes. Walked around shouting "Here, boy! C'mere! You'll get a tasty app!†I need to get a pet. @rosa
Late 2 work this morning and my wife decides it's my turn 2 make the bed. I say That's work harrasment in the sexual place! Meh, she says. @Resila
Btw, a great big thanks to the Unibomber for ruining a perfectly good look. @LauraJSilverman
People say, "THINK BIG!".. Well what if I'm thinking of a tumor? - @hellojustinoh
Hot in the office today. That little fan I keep on my desk & I, we made it to 3rd base @pixlove
How do men keep track of how long it's been since they've had a date? I mean, women can just measure their leg hair. - @theresa_lauren
The worst part about being an atheist is that I have no one to talk to during sex. - @Trick_or_tweet
Not sure which was worse, going to a wake at 9a.m all hungover. or looking at the casket thinking that'd be a great place for a nap. - @1surlygurl
Rainbows.. still the Gayest of all fractal implementations of light prisms in nature!!! - @SamGrittner
Looking at this Philip's head screwdriver makes me wonder what the hell Philip looked like. - @JeeNeeBee
"Yes We Can! Yes We Can! Yes We Can!" - Factory workers at a cannery - @doogiehowser_md
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