Adam 24's Comments
"When asked to respond, Charles Manson said 'I told you so.'"
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"Oppenheimer, eat your heart out."
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"I'm finally on TV! Look out world, here I come!"
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"Today, the new Guns'n'Roses album, produced and written by Axl Rose, was released to the public."
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"In other news, the World Trade Center Site Memorial opened today..."
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"When asked to comment, Jesus Christ of Nazareth said 'they had it coming. It was out of my hands.'"
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"Whoa! What was that? Viewers, I don't know if you felt anything, but here in the studio we were just hit by the most peculiar ground tremor. Don't worry though, we'll get through it. I'm just relieved we were there to protect the American people."
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"Loyal viewers, I must be honest here. Over the years I have been through one problem after another, but the sympathies of the American public have always helped me through the dark times. There are still many storm clouds on the horizon, but with your help we can make it through. I don't know what I'd do without you. I... I love you."
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"And now, a blast from the past, former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld!"
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"Today, I am a man."
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"American Idol voter turnout is once again at a record high!"
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"And now, our annual broadcast of Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, hosted by Ryan Seacrest!"
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adamhtucker at gmail dot com