Steampunk Spirograph (maybe missing a part or two)

Doctorama (in Navy) 2X

a "Boot" for disabling illegally parked Segways

Not Easy Being Green (in Military Green) 2X

I never used to feel this way, but we have reached the point in America that almost EVERY police action for "public safety" is more dangerous than the actions it's intended to deter. 9/11 terrorized us into paranoid stupidity, and the Terrorists won, big time.

That's a great thing to have with me if I ever want to stretch out undisturbed on a public bench...

I once dreamed I was eating a giant graham cracker... when I woke up, my headboard was gone (does not apply to padded headboards)

His bosses needed to step up and declare loudly that he was Under Orders to do it (and redirect any death threats to those giving the Orders). Still, his casual appearance (I've seen people spraying for roaches with much more seriousness) should provide a warning to us all about "how we look doing something" - that's where you get bit in the butt.

The first cheese grater used by Papa John's Pizza, which doubled as a torture device for underperforming employees. Its use was discontinued after complaints of finding bits of skin on a veggie pizza.

I'd seriously suspect the location choice was made with a dart and a blindfold, except they did pick one of the states easiest to misspell, and physically closest to Norway.

And when you increase the work week from 35 to 70 hours a week, you'll need only half as many workers! What could possibly go wrong?

Then again, there is the view that keeping the work week at 40 hours or more drives the economy: "Keeping free time scarce means people pay a lot more for convenience, gratification, and any other relief they can buy." Doesn't explain everything, but it certainly seems to be part of the mix in our mixed-up society.

THE JUNE 28TH CAPS LOCK DAY WAS CREATED TO COMMEMORATE THE PASSING OF BILLY MAYS, THE OXY-CLEAN TV PITCHMAN WHO SEEMED TO ALWAYS BE TALKING IN ALL-CAPS. IT HASN'T CAUGHT ON AS WELL, BUT I STILL ALWAYS POUR OUT A CAP OF OXY FOR BILLY ON THAT DAY.

IT MUST ALSO BE NOTED THAT e.e.cumming'S BIRTHDAY WAS ONLY A FEW DAYS AGO, ON OCTOBER 14TH, BUT NOBODY HAS STARTED A lower case day IN HIS HONOR.

ALSO, OCTOBER 22ND IS INTERNATIONAL WOMBAT DAY. WOMBATS HAVE BEEN PREVIOUSLY RECOGNIZED HERE FOR THEIR ARMORED BACKSIDES AND CUBE-SHAPED POOP, WHICH I GUESS ARE CAPS-LOCK-WORTHY TRAITS...

What? No Lex Luthor? And if you're going to include Yoda, you should also have Jean Luc Picard (maybe with his 'Locutus of Borg' head implant to be more badass).

Cartoonist Jason Yungbluth lampshaded the concept more than 10 years ago with "Weapon Brown", a grown-up, bulked-out, post-apocalyptic version of Charlie Brown with the same round-top-of-head-with-one-curly-hair that was used as a totally misleading teaser. (He was not the scariest of the post-apocalyptic comic strip characters in that rather NSFW satire)

But if you had grown up in Southern California as I did in the 1960s, you'd know the Original Notorious Baldy was Ralph Williams, the car dealer who pioneered long TV commercials and having Johnny Carson make jokes about you.

It's nice to see that some scholarly journals had a sense of humor a full four decades ago.

Now, about that illustration: a "Philbin 'Stache Bear"? I'm sorry, that doesn't look like Regis AT ALL.

I'd have preferred a four minute video of creative uses of commas.

I took one look at it and assumed it was the same wheel from this week's What-Is-It Game. Doesn't John read his own blog?

It seems to be a pattern of Watterson slowly opening up. Even before this, he did a phone interview for an upcoming documentary (and no, it's not the well-publicized "Dear Mr. Watterson"). It was for "Stripped" which is attempting to distill over 100 years of the history of comics and over 70 interviews with everyone from Jim "Garfield" Davis to Matt "Oatmeal" Inman into an under-two-hours package and has suffered interminable delays because the filmmakers wanted to show everything possible AND get proper rights clearance for it all. (But it was during the rights-clearance delays that Watterson decided "okay, let's talk") And in "Stripped" you will hear his voice! Not just an e-mail exchange. I'm impressed, but then, I'm impressed with everything about this project (Disclaimer: I supported the film's Kickstarter a few web-centuries ago and am awaiting my DVD).

Also Bill Watterson will be joining Richard Thompson, who recently had to quit doing "Cul-De-Sac" (the comic so many people called 'the next Calvin & Hobbes' or 'the next Peanuts') due to Parkinson's Disease in a two-man art show at the Comic Strip Library & Museum at Ohio State University next spring. (And look, he's talking about it, mostly to praise the other artist.) This comes after Watterson's first post-Calvin piece of art (a painting of a Cul-De-Sac character) was auctioned off for a Cul-De-Sac-themed Parkinson's fundraiser.

Between Watterson coming out of his shell, and Thompson getting the support he needs, this is turning into some of the best comics news of the year...