Alice -

My 15 year old male cousin was recently arrested for consensual and reciprocated touching that he engaged in with a 15 year old girl, after her mother walked in on them and accused him of rape.

I don't really see why you insist that such a situation is less than likely or unreasonable. You claim it is not a crime - yet it is treated as such on a daily basis. It can and does happen extremely frequently in our litigious culture.

I thought this was leading up to a joke about reindeer food containing plenty of fiber..

How was twitter instrumental in saving this man's face, again?

Did he not know that he might have a medical issue until he got that message?