Those high up microwaves scare me, I i spill hot stuff I prefer below chin level.

Yes indeed, through various jobs, hobbies, and flights of fancy, there have been many chances to bring home screws, nuts, and bolts. As my peanut butter & mayo jars filled I could be more selective about quality. But never ever passed up a wingnut in any condition.

Flip flops are the bane of humanity, twisted ankles, broken legs, smooshed toes, and spoiled floor finish.

I'll have what he's smoking, got the be spaced to imagine what he makes from what he sees in the trash.

It makes me question how accurate the text is?
Hey boss, we can save a whole page by leaving out one or two small paragraphs some where in the last chapter. We could leave out a chapter and save even more!

I guess nail polish is tougher than paint.

Sheb Woley? There's a name I haven't heard in several dogs ages but instantly knew who, what, why, how.

You pull up to the drive up window smelling the sweet smells wafting out of the window during the transaction then head home with supper on the seat... within easy reach. Hmm... really should open the bag to let moisture out so things don’t get soggy. The smell of French Fries wafting from the bag nullifies the pine tree on the mirror and kids trash on the backseat floor. You really should check to see if the order is ok before you get home... you know, to prevent being embarrassed. So you reach into the bag and pluck a fry with two fingers but quickly switch fingers because it’s hot. Almost too hot to eat... I said almost, but you let it cool for a few seconds while justifying you’re bringing it to the table so deserve an extra fry, the sweetest fries in history are stolen on the ride home. Now picture that fry has been injected with ketchup, cheese, gopher guts, what ever to wanted... ambrosia.This patent application by Mr Brient has 54 pages of various ways to do this so nobody could steal his idea and do it a different way in order to circumvent his patent. The patent expired so I guess he didn’t want to do it, just sell his idea.

Jim, I have one of those pigeon message books.

Holy cow, imagine trying to dust that. It’d be like a venetian blind.

There's a lot of people in this world, including the author of that article, that don't understand humor. But then, I have a half dozen watches in my drawer.

If you didn't know Ted Geisel, how would you know Depp isn't doing it right?