Ironic that inane morning shows is what puts me IN that mood.

I laugh at their foolish attempts to improve on fingers (although chop sticks are a good second).

//as I eat a turkey sloppy joe with nothing (checks up both sleeves) but my hands.

Chess variants are like any other type of knockoffs, dull and lifeless when compared to the REAL thing.

Luckily, wang was wearing protection that day.

Darn, I told my wife we should have bought the Brooklyn Bridge when that one nice NY gentlemen offered to sell it to us, and at a surprisingly low price.

Reason #673 why I sent my two kids to private school.

Impressive of sorts - but way too early to tell if she'll continue to grow intellectually at that rate or not.

My oldest girl could barely pick her nose and walk at the same time when she was a year and a half. Now she's doing her post-doc studies at UT-IMCB.

I heard that they have biological proof that girls are superior to boys for having babies.

Birth control goggles.

Keeps the weak suitors from contributing to the gene pool.

Hmmmmmm...how to get rid of a hole in the ground?

Where's a rocket scientist when you need them?

"Owner Elaine Denney said money is not an issue."

Obviously not. Brains (or the lack there of) is the issue.

Cures the raving snargles better then anything else on the planet.

Of course it's fake - what teenager writes an actual letter on paper these days (and to a "chum" no less)?

Whoops, I skipped over their boring intro babble and just read the techie description part.

That's really neat. Not the best chess game, but for the time it takes to "think" about it's move, it's a reasonable match (but it seems to fall for a piece swapping strategy every time).