"Hire someone with the machinery?" What you need's a gravedigger.
BBC Young Ones. Neil (the hippy)
"Do you dig graves?"
Gravedigger.
"Well yeah, they're OK."

It's not just if it explodes. There's no weight to spare for shielding, so you have an unshielded reactor showering the terrain with reaction radiation as it flies over. Worse, most designs IIRC have bare fuel, meaning it sheds stuff in a stream behind it.

If a fish lands inside, I guess it's sort of equivalent to roadkill.

Sun-dried hedgehogs are my favourite. You can tell when they're ready to harvest because of the clack-clack noise when you drive over them.

It's the "leaving aside" bit that I have trouble with. A lot of these hypothetical questions ask you to leave too much aside. You can't. It's part of the question and it has to be part of the answer.

Perhaps it's one of the Illuminati, incognito.

As heard in a lecture...

Lecturer, "But of course, two positives don't make a negative." and from the back "Yeah. Right."

Not available in the UK.