Hello! I would like the Pimp P1 Pusher.

And yes, I'm going to say it....because I am a P-I-M-P.

(Groans abound)

That...is dedication. Either on the part of the fish or someone "making this up." Why does someone always have to call fark? Why can't we just enjoy a remarkable thing?

I'm going to make an inspirational poster out of this and sell millions. T-shirts, too.

Looks like a pump, probably to ciphen water out of the ground or something. Three guys stand on each side and pump up and down.

Just my guess.

Didn't Gardner technically stay awake for 268 hours if he spent 4 hours talking to the press? Not that it matters in the long run, but he would've beaten the kid from Fresno.

Been on one at Dorney Park. I seem to remember it being fun, but I was only about 11 years old, so....maybe that's why.

Win! Awesome!1!!

Looks like a vintage tire iron. Not sure if that's what they're called, but the contraption you use to change tires (or wagon wheels in this case!)

I thought it was wonderful...

A testament to how selfish people can be in the face of their own discomfort, at the expense of others. Ida is fantastic!

What a horrible and barbaric thing to happen.

I wonder - more now than ever - how South Asian women must look at American women. (Although, don't get me wrong, women over here suffer from domestic violence as well, it just seems they have more outlets for help.)

A Lamaze tool for newly-to-be mothers!

Enough Americans have seen Upton's clip at this point that I don't think there is any mistaking her for anyone else.

Nice way to advertise her niece's accomplishments, though.

That is incredible.

Although I do find the entry about the barn roof a little out of place....

And here...I offer you, sire, my virginity. A beautiful flower of...

Wait..

Oh Pleeaase let me in, Janice... I didn't know that was your cat, I swear!

So, can I see you tomorrow?

That was amazingly disgusting.

Thank you.... (pukeee)