Where do people get off wearing something warm and comfortable in the privacy of their own homes? They should always dress as if some anonymous web surfer is watching and judging them.

Probably says something about drinking Ovaltine.

Why would contemporary "chaotic" music be considered "classical"?

A zip line off the Empire State Building should be next.

Shut up, big nose.

"Armpit sniffer" always comes up as an example of bad jobs. But you know that with the millions at stake in the feminine hygiene industry someone has to be testing the efficacy of their products, the only way to be sure being a before and after.

It was nice of Ozzy Osbourne to carry the flag.

I wonder if aircraft have ever run into fish at altitude?

Right after the picture was taken, Norman fell.

Money can't buy happiness, but with enough money you can rent it.

Hey, that looks like the same box-on the back-guy from the "learn ventriloquism" ads in the old comic book ads. I actually sent for one of those eons ago. Turned out to be a little metal whistle you hide in your mouth. I ended up swallowing it, of course.

I'd sure like to know how he did the "Mene Mene Tekel" trick.

There is a good Mickey, and that's Floyd Gottfredson's Mickey Mouse newspaper comic strip from the '30s. Look it up- fantastic!

Meep is a perfectly cromulent word.

Per the Volks ancedote- I want some of that stuff.