When my oldest was 9 (about 3 yrs back), he wrote and illustrated the following for school:
Zombie dogs roam Earth.
This is not "Cycle of Life."
Everything is wrong.

Sure, some folks have complained about the meter of the last line, but we put it on the 'fridge nonetheless.

Same Hat Same Hat had a link to a funny parody of this story awhile back.
http://samehat.blogspot.com/2007/06/ito-parody-enigma-of-squarepants-fault.html

I did my master's thesis on these little guys a while back. Since they liked living in dark tubes, we were able to place them in test tubes and put them in an NMR spectrometer to check out their metabolism without stressing them too much. They are neat little fishes.

Now, if it was a Spider-Pig phone, then I would have to get one.

It didn't have my surname. :-(

But it did find 290 "Thomas Riddle"s and 25 "Tom Riddle"s. No word on how many of those have the middle name "Marvolo".

It reminds me of Edward Gorey's Gashlycrumb Tinies