hearsetrax:

Exactly. That is why they made .22 - perfect for the job.

Cat: Hey, it's warm in there! And food! Let me in!

Fox: Food? Let me in, too! I'm ready to be domesticated! Just pretend I'm a Pomeranian!

Eagle: Pffft. Stupid mammals...

I wonder if these things made peoples' butts glow, like they were lightning bugs. That would be cool...

One thing that I demand of my suppositories is that they be "perfectly harmless". As long as I don't get sick or injured, up it goes!

Don't these fools realize that pools of fresh, clear water attract Indian Monkey-Men?

These conclusions are spurious and without merit. By expediting Ozzel's early retirement (known as a "Black Parachute"), Lord Vader created a new opening that allowed his middle management to advance. Being stuck in one position causes inertia and low productivity. A dynamic, ever-changing management hierarchy fosters innovation and maximum utilization of individual inputs. Also, Lord Vader shares his expectations with his staff clearly and consistently, and then follows through with immediate consequencing. This, coupled with an occasional "jeans day" (please note that jeans must be full-length, clean, and pressed, otherwise risk a force-choke), this achieves a vibrant and successful paradigm.

A million years ago, one can tell the best diners by how many trucks were parked in the parking lot. Truckers knew where to go through the CB and from their own experience. They seldom wasted a stop on an unknown quantity.

I submit George Lucas as the greatest plot-holer of all time - because not only did he create plot holes on the fly, but AFTER THE FACT.

For example, R2D2 started out as simply a droid that happened to be on a rebel cruiser. But years later, R2 connects EVERYTHING in the Star Wars universe. EVERYTHING. And R2 has absolutely nothing to do with The Force, which would explain a certain amount of these countless, impossible coincidences.

But George says (again, after the fact) that he was writing for children this whole time. So that makes it okay.

Anyone who spent 20 seconds in a chicken house would not find vat meat nearly as disgusting.

It is unnecessary to use the adjective "weird" with "German". It is a given.

I have an even better idea - just make the crust out of cardboard. Most national pizza chains do that already.

Something tells me that Timm bought 5 copies of "The Death of Superman" and still has them in their shrink wrap.

This stuff needed to be said. When you look at basic comic book story-telling, there is astounding body of work that goes back decades. Yet mass-producers (not story-tellers) cynically bastardize it to make a quick buck. They never bother to understand the basic elements that makes a beloved character work. It's all about gimmicks and special-effects. None of this glitz matters when you don't have a solid story.

I'm probably one of the very few sci-fi nerds who thinks Firefly is ridiculously overrated. There were some great moments, but most of it (to me) was freak'n boring. And Whedon's obsession with teenage girls is annoying.

The Chinese version of the game "Jenga".

People hand me sh*t all day at work - why isn't there a story about me?