The Iron Pasties of Doom.
Beware the hug!

i rpn heart, xl,red

I have no idea what it's called but it costs $1.25 in the creepy men's room vending machine at the Exxon station.

nyuk,xl,nat

Yikes. Looks like Andy Goldsworthy found a slug.

nyuk,xl,nat

I had a friend way back when who worked for an auction house. He told me the auctioneer would incorporate within his banter instructions to house staff on the floor whose purpose was to subtly encourage or goad particular bidders identified by the auctioneer as susceptible "marks." He said the instructions were simple codes and identifiers that were only noticed by house staff and the object was to drive up bids and, therefore, the auction house's cut. Of course, for all I know the guy was full of crap... but he wasn't a sort given to self-aggrandizing or conspiracies so I always gave it a certain credence.

This was an arm-mounted perch, used by finer pirates to avoid the unsightly problem of parrot poo on the epaulets. A value-added feature was its usefulness as an auxiliary weapon in a pinch.

nyuk,grey,xl

Fighting spur, of the type commonly worn in Ultimate Indian Leg Wrestling cage matches.

nyuk,grey,xl

Great pics. I also think it would be fun to see a photo collection of homemade Star Wars costumes from the 1870s.

Don't even ask. Just put it back before Christian notices it's missing.

It's a hypnotizing monocle. Only about halfway effective though, except it tended to work well on many pirates.

Pretty sure it's a tapeworm trap. Tapeworms can't resist slaloming through such things (they're born slalomers) and once they're halfway through, you extract the trap, tie the ends together and dispose of properly. The hook and chain have to do with extraction but I intentionally glossed over that part.

retro grinder monkey, ser grn, xl

Well, it used to be a robot centipede, before some cruel little fiend pulled all its legs off and made it into a keychain. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have nice things.

retro grinder monkey, ser grn, xl

A Gnomurai helmet.
(they leave them unpainted since they end up covered in travel stickers anyway)

retro grinder monkey, ser grn, xl

Maybe an energy dissipator for fluids. Or gases or vapors, even. Let's just say a nondiscriminatory dissipator.

retro grinder monkey, ser grn, xl

Portable hamster skate park.

retro grinder monkey, ser grn, xl