It's not entirely true that people won't know you're getting your drink on. The malt fermentation process may render the drink odorless -- I'm not a chemist, so I don't know one way or the other -- but I do know that, as the body metabolizes alcohol, it becomes acetaldehyde after one trip through the liver, and acetone after another trip through the liver, before it finally becomes carbon dioxide and water. The acetaldehyde and (even more so) the acetone are what give people "alcohol breath."

So at some point, roughly an hour or two after you start pounding these things, you can be found out.

Torture/penance device.

The binary-illiterate (like me) can translate tweets here: http://home2.paulschou.net/tools/xlate/