Quicksand is real- its just found in coastal mud flats. Its typically only seen at low tide. You wont get sucked under, but you can easily become stuck and unable to move. That wont kill you.
What will kill you is high tide.

They forgot Poptart Cat: AKA Nyan cat!

But I *CAN* lick my elbow!!!
... which goes to show that it isn't record-worthy, I suppose.

Or, you could just do what Zach Weiner did...
http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2576#comic

While cute, I believe that there should be an alternative. I personally use / / with my friends. for example...
"our football team lost!"
"/Grand./"
it works for us, without the use of a heavy overhaul of a font. However, a font may be better for longer, more facetious remarks.

Going the way of Ender's game... so sad. So much promise.

Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes would be proud.

Hasn't anyone checked out Questionable Content for that answer?

Next, they're going to taser a pink flamingo ornament..

A "you are here" sign would be helpful.

This sounds like the work of Dogbert.

Anyone who has read Speaker for the Dead will understand the irony in the fact that this guy's name is Milo.

But why did he hit the block with his head? Mario always did it WITH HIS FIST.

Gas laws! Who remembers high school chemistry?

Experiment! Have Alex try it, and have John as the control group. Then, see who gets more positive attention!