The Weight Loss Trapezoid is useful. It's like the doorstop that holds open the gateway to health. But the Happiness Paper Hat is the life of the party inside. Choose wisely from the options that Mr. Lovenstein presents.

From 1953 to 1955, Leonard Nimoy, the actor who played Spock on the original Star Trek, served in the US Army Reserves. Today, he tweeted this photo of himself with the caption "Mopping up." 

Bonus fact: while in the service, Sgt. Nimoy supervised Ken Berry, the comedic actor from F-Troop and Mama's Family.*

*Source: The Sunday Mail (Brisbane). Mar. 23, 2003.

Get it? A "chest" of drawers. Ha! George McCallum designed this furniture pun.

Let it no longer be said that male nipples lack any practical use.

-via Lustik

Turkey is great and all, but all that chewing can just be so tiring, and there isn't nearly enough sugar in it. That's why this year, I'm ordering my Thanksgiving dinner from Portland ice cream joint Salt & Straw. 

The company offers a Thanksgiving Gift Pack for $65, which includes the following flavors: mincemeat pie; sweet potato and candied pecans;  pumpkin custard and spiced chevere; apple cranberry stuffing; and salted caramel Thanksgiving turkey. That's right, turkey ice cream and yes, it contains actual turkey juice and turkey-skin brittle -it actually makes stuffing ice cream sound tame.

Via Food Beast

I've never seen that Lorde girl in the flesh
I cut my teeth on pop music on Spotify
And I'm not proud of my email address
In the torn up web, no gmail envy

But every song's like:
Gold iPhones
Grey Wolf
Blogging in the bathroom
Foodstains
Snuggies
Blogging in the hotel room

We don't care, we're listening to this clown in our dreams.

Well, unless you've been living in a cave, you've probably heard 16-year-old wunderkind Ella Maria Lani Yelich-O'Connor, more famously known by her stage name Lorde, singing her smash hit song Royals.

There's no doubt that Lorde has a golden voice, but this clown ain't bad. And when we say clown, we don't mean it as a put down. We actually mean clown: meet Puddles the Clown, a seven-foot-tall sad clown that sure can sing. In this clip above, Puddles sings with Scott Bradlee of pop music band Postmodern Jukebox in the 1970s piano ballad cover version of Royals.

Previously on Neatorama: 7 Fantastic Covers of Daft Punk's Get Lucky (also featuring Postmodern Jukebox)

If you like that, check out the a capella Royals cover by Pentatonix:

K-9 is a robotic dog on Doctor Who. He’s most famous as a companion to the Fourth Doctor, though he did make an appearance with the Tenth Doctor in the 2006 episode “School Reunion.”

K-9 addressed the Doctor as “Master,” which inspired this digital image by DeviantART member madaigual. K-9 listens attentively to the wind-up gramophone, just like the dog in Francis Barraud’s painting “His Master’s Voice.” Several sound equipment and record companies have used that image as a trademark since 1900.

Santa Claus is just about the most popular fictional character of all time, but that just might be because he doesn't wear out his welcome. Santa pops up once a year, fulfills children's wishes for toys, and then goes away. And because he is such a popular character, many entrepreneurs have been tempted to capitalize on Santa Claus with year-round parks and attractions, with varying success. Quite a few eventually failed and fell into ruin over the years. Check out a gallery of pictures at Atlas Obscura that takes a look at erstwhile Santa Claus attractions in California, Arizona, Vermont, Michigan, Illinois, and Brazil.    

(Image credit: Flickr user mlhradio)

(YouTube link)

Florida State University wants you to know about cold weather. I don't dispute that northern Florida can be cold to teenagers who have spent their entire lives in Miami, but treating them like complete idiots isn't called for. If the guy in shorts doesn't feel cold, telling him he does isn't going to help.

This video was uploaded a year ago by FSU Alerts, but they never uploaded a second video. Maybe they decided their animation department just wasn't up to snuff. Watch for the snowman to start either shivering or dancing at around :20 in. Oh, by the way, I already went to the FSU Environmental Safety and Health site, and there's nothing there about dealing with cold weather. -via reddit

Love teeth? Who doesn't?

Etsy seller ConcaveOblivion creates and sells denture-themed accessories that's perfect for your favorite dentist and everyone else who has a complete set of chompers (Hey, that's practically everyone! Sorry West Virginians! Joking! No biting emails, please)

You can get the Denture Bracelet above, or these beauties below that'll surely bring a toothy grin to your face. Behold, the Denture Comb and the Denture Compact Mirror:

Via Street Anatomy

Did you hear that they're making Army of Darkness 2? Well, maybe. Bruce Campbell himself told the world that he'd be coming back as the one-armed evil fightin' Ash Williams. Groovy!

Or maybe not, as Campbell later told the world that you shouldn't trust all these Internet B.S. spread by, none other than the man himself.

In any case, you can celebrate the good news/console yourself over the bad news with these Bruce Campbell's Soups. If you can't pick one up at your local S-Mart, you can always make your own Bruce Campbell's Condensed Soup, as created by Dave Maass and Chris Kalb over at Blastr (formerly Sci Fi Wire).

Visit Blastr to download the printable PDF - via reddit

You go, I go, we all go the bathroom, but can you do your business in THESE bathrooms?

Can you go if it feels like other people can look into the bathroom? Or that you're suspended in the air 15 stories up? How much do you gotta go anyhow?

Take a look at these 5 fearsome toilets, where the pressure you feel ain't just that of your bursting bladder:

1. Toilet with Glass Floor

Image: Carlos Diaz Corona

This unique bathroom in the PPDG Penthouse in Guadalajara, Mexico, is designed by Hernandez Silva Arquitectos. The space was intended for an elevator which was never installed - instead, the homeowner installed a powder room with a glass floor that lets you look straight down all 15 levels of the empty shaft.

View a gallery of photos of the house over at Homes & Hues. (Previously on Neatorama)

2. Men's Bathroom at the Sofitel Hotel, Queenstown, New Zealand

Photo provenance unknown - via Snopes

You've probably seen the viral photo above of a man using a urinal against a wall picture of women laughing at them, taking photographs and even, ahem, taking measurements, and you've probably thought that it's Photoshopped.

But the photo is real: that's the men's restroom in the 5-star Sofitel hotel in Queenstown, New Zealand. According to Snopes, hotel manager Mark Wilkinson said that the restroom was "just a way to put a little levity into the posh hotel."

3. The Glass Box Public Lavatory

Photo: Iwan Baan

When nature calls, why not go in a toilet that's, well, full of nature? The public toilet at the Itabu train station in Ichihara, Japan, is enclosed in a see-through glass box. It is surrounded by a lush garden and a 6-ft tall fence so you can go to the bathroom "outside" yet in complete privacy (well, at least until someone stands on a ladder outside the fence).

Find out more about the Itabu Station Glass Box Public Toilet over at Homes & Hues.

Procrastinate by Bamboota

Exterminate nakedness and satiate your need for cool T-shirt with this cool T-shirt design by Bamboota. But whatever you do, don't, y'know, procrastinate!

Check out Bamboota's official Tumblr page, then visit her NeatoShop catalog for more neat T-shirt designs.

View more designs by Bamboota | More Funny T-shirts | New T-Shirts

The book in this Lunarbaboon comic probably meant something healthy, like reading a book or riding a bike, and only after a full night of sleep. But depression is a tenacious foe, so take any victories you can get. 

I should be the last person to complain about proofreading. Even though I do proofread, I miss typos at an alarming rate. Then again, you don't know how many times I've inserted a typo just to get a comment.

However, when your sign specifically brags about attention to detail, you'd better look it over. This one contains both a typo and a grammar error. So was it a drunk sign painter or a very good Photoshop? It's my favorite picture out of Buzzfeed's list of 27 Reasons Why You Should Always Proofread. I also like Mom's response to a knock knock joke.

(Image credit: Elisa Ward)

(Photo: Opal Auctions)

This beautiful fossil is a pine cone infused with opal. It was found in the Ken's Retreat opal mining area of Finch County, New South Wales, Australia. Many plant and animal fossils can be found here including--on rare occasions--opalized pineapples.

-via TYWKIWDBI