Just because you're paranoid...

The hundstache is cute but his ears look terrible. Yikes!

What happens if you get shanked during your meal? Is it on the house?

That's great! Sometimes it's the simplest things.

Better the devil you know...

I couldn't make it past the 25 second mark.

"...an actual Volkswagen."

I can't explain why, but I doubt it. I would have expected a more "wadded up" appearance.
The windows are obviously plastic add-ons, but the running board through the door handle is also highly unlikely.

Still, it's a well executed sculpture. Neat!

Quick, throw her the bouquet!

"In the 17th and 18th centuries, mugs were often decorated with cartoonishly-drawn human faces."

I googled "anthropomorphic drinking vessel" and got lots of interesting stuff in an image search. Do you have any sources for further reading?

Get a room you two!

I'm confused, who is that in the mugshot?

Theirs was a merry war.