Withe global economy being what it is these days, I appreciate your new trend of conserving letters. Every little bit counts!

Hamlet never said "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well." None of Shkespeare's characters ever said that.

The correct line is "Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him, Horatio."

But most people don't read any more.

'Global' = "The United States" (excluding Alaska and Hawaii)

'Warming' = "in the month of July"

Ah, yes. It all makes perfect sense now and there IS data to back it all up. Count me in!

Hey, I used to eat that in Germany when I was a kid but nobody in the US believes me. Now there's proof that it really does exist and I didn't just dream it!

Being careful with the tigger trigger, he is!

It was where an ancient serial killer hid his victims after dismembering and reassembling their body parts.

I doubt that psychos are a modern invention.

Intel is exactly the same idiotic system they call 'Focal'. No matter how good you are, you are always ranked against your colleagues on a pre-determined bell curve. As a result, there is no teamwork in that company. It is in your best interests for your coworkers to make a mistake so that you're the one to get the raise at the end of the year. Terrible work environment.

That underwear kind of takes the fun out of farting.

Rooboy,
It's not the "social medical care" that bothers us. It's that, for the first time in US history, we are required to go out and buy something from private companies, whether we want it or not. If we choose NOT to buy it (or cannot afford the price that they feel like charging us), then we are penalized by paying a tax.
Essentially this is now a tax that is paid just because we're US citizens.

Graystone2000,
Car insurance? I have a choice on whether or not I own a car, and if I don't, I don't get punished with extra taxes.
House insurance? I have a choice on whether or not I own a house and I also have a choice on whether or not I want to insure my house (assuming it's fully owned by me and not financed). If I don't own a house or if I don't choose to insure it, I don't get punished with extra taxes.

How about this? All Americans MUST buy at least 2 cans of Coca-cola/week, whether they want to or not. If they do not (or cannot afford) to buy the Coca-cola at its new prices, they will be punished with a penalty tax.

Curious what will happen in the future when millions of us refuse to pay that Citizen-tax. Will the prisons start filling up with all of us non-violent, hardworking people because we're considered criminals now?
And you'd better believe insurance costs are going to skyrocket when it's required for people to buy it.

Whoever measured those 'average' human stomachs has obviously never been to south Texas.

The same government logic that gave us:

You aren't allowed to pay a woman money if you want to have sex with her; that's prostitution. But if you pay her money, have sex, and FILM it, then it's OK because you're just making an adult movie; that's OK.

Is dingleberry a bad word?

According to this map, diabetes is caused by saying "y'all".

Looks like a pizza did it with a burrito and this is their offspring.

I would try one. But is it that much different from Subway's pizza sub (which they will still make for you, but don't usually have on the menu)?

I knew this was coming. Mrs. Turtle started getting fat about 26 years ago. Just a matter of time.