Pound on a soda machine because it doesn't have any Slurm.

It's the helmet for James Cameron's deep-sea diving suit. Yes, his head really IS that big.
Battle Damage, XXM

Yeah, that's what I would have done, too.

My grandmother came from Albania and she was a sworn virgin, too.

Any ladies looking to attract a fat guy? Here you go!

"...failure to lose weight." Good one! How about this? "There's a hole 'round the convict, dear Liza..." No?

Looks like the boy on the left pitched the cat right at the camera. Funny cards.

We (the audience) needed Larry in the group because Darrel and Darrel didn't talk.

"...form their own company, Arati..." Arati?

Not for fishing. If you need to get a rope or ham radio antenna up high, first you start with this fishing line, then tie your rope or antenna wire to it, and then pull it up the tower.

Dear Santa...

You can't browse without making a profile. So I made one. The first page after that is the billing page. You have to pay if you want to run a detailed search. Not impressed.
Also, no women anywhere near me. What a surprise.

I'm not a musician in any way other than listening. I've often wondered why professional musicians, who practice the songs over and over in rehearsals, THEN have the sheet music right in front of them in case they can't remember what they did in rehearsal, THEN have to have a conductor in front of them. And none of them are even looking at the conductor, they're all looking at their sheet music.
And how come only classical music 'needs' a conductor? Jazz, rock, country, pop, folk, ska... big bands, small bands... none of them has a conductor. Normally a drummer just gets the beat started with a "one-and-a-two-and-a" so that the band starts together and then they continue from there.
Conductors aren't needed.