Just change the design a bit and you get...

...Caddy Chucks!

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I Survived the Large Hadron Collider, Ladies Fit S

"How often do I have to tell you, Charles Dexter Ward: Never leave your ukulele out on the Doorstep! It's just a simple rule and certainly a small price to pay for living in Innsmouth in the shadow of the Mountains of Madness. Two more weeks of feeding the cats of Ulthar, young man!"

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I Survived the Large Hadron Collider (you guessed it), Ladies Fit S, please

So that's where the plug to that drill hole in the Golf of Mexico went... Quick, someone call BP!

[I Survived the Large Hadron Collider in Ladies Fit S]

Finally a lunch box that keeps those pesky grapes from rolling around inside!

(I Survived The Large Hadron Collider in Ladies Fit S)

It’s an Icelandic chastity cup (it becomes a belt if you pull a strap through the eyelet at the top). Can double as a sturdy sled, ensuring the expeditious retreat of the damsel in distress over the snowy Icelandic slopes. Also note the floral designs, geared towards the female target group.

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(I Survived the Large Hadron Collider, Ladies Fit S please, if possible)