Wow, a red-squirrel supremacist wants a grey squirrel coozie. That's the slippery slope to grey squirrel lampshades. I hope the British equivalent of Bob & Doug Mckenzie take it back to the brewery to scam a free case.
Dick Cheney's balloon popper used to make the little children cry. (Take a stroll & give any one of your fine shirts to somebody that looks sad in the street, or send one to that Alex Sterling guy fer teaching me about the horrors of, "Draize Testing")
Think of it as a model. Using centrifugal force might be the answer. This prototype doesn't have the power to do the whole job, but it might be a step in the right direction, and lead to a solution. A calamity on this scale will have no easy quick fixes. After all, BP just opened Pandora's Box.