Sheep hoof trimmers. You gotta work fast, those guys can kick.

"Thesaurus" in 2xl.

This is the widely-forgotten mustache washbasin. While it was popular in its day, it has gone the way of so many early inventions. Fit your upper lip against the inner curved section, pour water and cleansing agent over mustache and go to town! (Mustache shampoo and scrubbing brush sold separately.) The handle is ergonomically designed to provide comfort for all users.

Gray "Thesaurus" shirt in 2xl please!

"Ave, Maria..."

Tell me truth -- does my ass look fat in these fatigues?

Why yes, I'm a natural strawberry blonde.