"... nutritionist Jon Basso..."

If only the man's last name held some sort of clue as to what kind of person he was.

Convert the water to ice and replace the air with 12 year old Scotch, and the glass is perfect.

Isn't that one of the hosts of Mythbusters?

I'd think that was cute, if I gave a hoot.

You can have my testicles when you pry them from my cold dead hand! Wait a second, that didn't come out right...

If only the 87 year old woman had drunk more milk. If only...

WTF? Why not sue the city for failure to post a "No bicycle racing on sidewalks" sign? How about God- He made all that pesky gravity! She was 87 people, not 37- her life expectancy wasn't going to rocket upward any time soon. What ever happed to "accidents happen"?

I'm just cynical enough to belive the main reason her estate sued was because she left them nothing.

Groovy!

He didn't want to be cremated, his final wishes were that he be deep fried and enjoyed by 3 to 6 mourners with a creamy garlic dip (lemon wedges optional).

Opulence... I has it.

The only drawback? You have to live in India.

"... and is located in Willowdale, Ontario." Really? You'll get better value if it's located on Boardwalk.

"... using only what he found in a New Jersey forest." Good luck with all those dead mobsters, empty bottles of bronzer, and used condoms. I can only assume his first message on his home-made telegraph will be "Get me out of this s*ithole!"

Ford Kune Do- way of the intercepting truck. It's clear to me, Bruce Lee lives!!!

Clearly the child is a dog lover.

I don't have any kids and I saw the dark krystal once; 60%. Is that good or bad?