I was about to say, "Well, she apparently screws him better than you do.", but it looks like he's about to get screwed several times over. And yeah, then there's the whole 'buried alive' thing...
Many years ago I recall a height sign at the entrance to a tunnel going into New York City with a few words added after the numbers: "And we mean it." But honestly, that little sign on the trestle isn't noticeable; it needs to be a big striped sign going across the top of the entire lane.
Because people in the US now what fraud, con-artistry, being framed, counterfeit money, and lawsuits are. In the US if you hand me a counterfeit $100 dollar bill it's in /my/ possession and that means I'm the one who gets arrested for having it. People in the US are targets for fraud just like Windows users are targets for hackers. If you're from the US and someone offers you free money, then chances are likely you'll think they're attempting to pull a fast one on you.
When one intends neutrality one may use such words which convey only a broad stroke of determination; otherwise, one might be inclined to throw weapons at one. Then again, when the protagonist finds it's antagonist they might embrace one another as... 'friend'. Thus, the problem as to how to address one without regard to sex is moot and pointless; that especially in the light of a roaring threesome.
But really, for a true travesty blaspheming all that /is/ Bacon, how about bacon toilet paper?