When I first saw this, I thought it read "Simple signals help aglets communicate."

I was intrigued by the idea of the little plastic covers at the end of the laces saying things like "I have brought someone with me," and I really wanted to find out who discovered their language and how the aglets managed to arrange themselves in these ways.

What's up with all the focus on Malkin? People are dismissing a story because it came from a certain person?

There is a link to the original story, BTW, so you don't have to pollute your soul by reading Malkin directly.

Oh, and SEIU? Way to discourage community service. "Hey, if somebody's going to volunteer to do our work out of civic pride, what happens to our overpaid union jobs?"

So that's why obesity has tripled in the last 40 years! Whew! What a relief.

America, please continue your gluttonous binge while science develops an antibiotic.

I saw this one Antiques Road Show.

It's a cocktail holder/ashtray, specially designed for Frank Sinatra.

You place your cocktail glass in the holder in the middle. As the weight of the glass drops, the needle moves to the left, signaling a waitress or flunkie it's time for a refill -- chop chop, baby!

The ashtray on the right is designed so it can be rotated to dump the ashes.

One-of-a-kind. Valued at $12,000, at auction it sold for $23,750.

It's the Veruca Salt game produced as a tie-in with the 1971 "Willy Wonka" movie.

Players take turns moving around a board towards the goal of winning Wonka's factory. Opponents can land on a challenge space and make you place your "egg" on the scale. If the meter says you're a bad egg, your piece gets launched into the incinerator and you lose the game.

A medieval version of Mousetrap, originally produced by the Papal Office for the Defense of the Faith.

You put a little heretic on the pointed end, then keep adding counterweights until he catapults into the flames on the right. The scale measures his time in purgatory.

It was very popular in Spain.

Dang, that is way cool -- but also priced about 10x what it would seem to be worth, given it's a simple motor, a housing, and a bicycle chain.

It's Heileman's Old Style, not Hellman's.

Mmmmmm. Hellman's Old Style.

"Marge, can you put some more of that beer-onaise on my sandwich?"

I like the way mine came out:

Tibetan Buddhist Architecture releases their newest CD, "Kisses are hopelessly lazy."

"Also, it clearly reveals that the teacher believes that certain people are clearly ‘better’ than other."

I think it reveals the teacher believes that some people work harder than others, and that there are practical consequences for failing to apply yourself.

That said, I agree that this is vindictive and insulting. But some kids need a wake-up call.

Good Lord, don't do that!

Get us a unicorn chaser, stat!

Actually, I thought the best part was the poster in the suspect's apartment.

Folgers? Are you serious?

They're funny, stupid, and sad all at once.

It was inevitable.

I wonder if the RIAA will sue Molyneux?