If you tried to grow a garden on top of every MTA bus, you would soon have a fleet of ruined buses.

Plants need water to grow, and send roots down into the soil. Flat roof + water + plant growth + extra weight = structural failure.

My wife has the actual sheet music with lyrics.

I'll see if we can dig it out. If so, I'll email a scan.

Another job eliminated by technology.

So now what's the Lorax supposed to do?

Turn-of-the-century phone switching device for multi-level marketers. Patented by Amway in 1912. It lets you arrange conference calls with your upline and downline.

"How many presentations did you make this week, George? Did you draw the diagram like I showed you?"

Save the Ales, XL

Everyone has the right to be an immature idiot whose juvenile pranks amuse his friends, but Jackass wannabes interrupting other people's lives to demand attention gets really tiresome.

Cool!

And now, sadly, rather than being inspired to do something similarly creative on their own, thousands of people will copy that exact idea over and over until it becomes trite, annoying, uncool, and counter-productive.

"Gary Conservatory of Yo-yo, gold medal class of '05"

It's the "|" symbol from a cuneiform typewriter. I believe it's a Sumer-Corona model.

"Smarter than an ursine mammal with a mean level of intelligence," natural, XL.

New for men in 1518: The Gillette Septo razor!

(Brainier than the average bear, natural, XL.)

Failed Winter Olympic sports: Men's Triple G (Aerial-Downhill-Slalom).

Little known fact: Al Haig made his name in the Army commanding the 101st Airborne Ski Patrol.

I was really excited until I read more carefully and discovered it's dedicated to "Earth, Water, Wind and Fire."

I would definitely support government funding for a water purification boat that features a fat horn section.

Years ago my dad had a pair of cuff links made with his wisdom teeth mounted on them. I am now the proud owner.

It's a steampunk Chuck-E-Cheese ticket dispenser.

"Destroying or relocating the cats only opens up space for more cats to move in."

Then what does neutering accomplish? Will there not be "more cats to move in" when the colony finally dies out?

As well-intentioned as neutering may be, it cannot solve the problem because the goal of neutering (killing off the colony) is only a longer-term method to achieve the same short-term result as destruction.