I learned this from Harold in that one episode of Hey Arnold! where he became smart.

The last paragraph is gold.

One should be wearing a top hat.

I forgot to put my point: The satellite map will inevitably be wrong just when you need it to be right.

I was 35 miles into a 70 mile bike ride when I found out that my directions, which had told me to take a smaller road up the mountain, actually pointed me to gravel trail. I had no choice but to pick up the bike and regret trusting Google Maps.

I'm sure everyone will love seeing him in Lycra.

I was fine with the Russian and Polish, but the "new Jersey English" at the end really confused me.

It fits the music perfectly.

Chuck Norris was jogging. Approximately 200 yards, in fact.

Invader Zim snubbed yet again.

I, for one, welcome our horse-headed overlords.

He could definitely have driven a normal car across the country, but he didn't want to drive a normal car across the country, he wanted to drive a Gallardo across the country. What would be the point of doing it in his regular car?

he must be great in bed even when fakes it.

Virginia Dare was born in the settlement of Roanoke, the first British colony in the New World. The colony was also called Roanoke, it wasn't Virginia until some time later. The town was abandoned shortly after she was born, meaning that there isn't a Roanoke, NC anymore.

Where is Hey Arnold(!)? Where is Gargoyles? Where is Freakazoid?

Plus, the inclusion of Family Guy makes the list an automatic failure.