Ok, as a former exchange student, I have to say something that is really hard to admit: something similar happened to me about 20 years ago.

I was also a teenager. My host family, who my parents paid to feed me and let me stay in their home, forced me to sleep on the floor, and eat meager meals separately in the kitchen. They also expected me to be a maid for the family and a caregiver for an elderly family member.

When I didn't perform well, they cut my food. They held my money, credit cards, passport, and plane ticket "for safe keeping."

The host family monitored my phone calls and mail, so I couldn't say anything to my parents -- who I also didn't want to disappoint -- because I had asked to go on exchange, and it cost them a fortune.

This was a powerful and affluent family, and the daughter went to school with me. I didn't know anyone who I thought would believe me and help me.

I was so, so relieved to be back on American soil. I never admitted how bad it was to my parents; I was ashamed that I wasted their hard-earned money, while I let myself be abused.

You want nuts? I've got your nuts right here!

My fellow cats, I will be taking over for Jeff.

Nastia,
My dad worked in radio during the 40's and 50's (and later in TV). He's been telling a similar story for as long as I can remember.

Apparently they were experimenting with microwaves and radio/TV transmission towers. A guy that my dad worked with had been warned to be careful, but apparently wasn't. He managed to cook himself, but didn't die immediately. He suffered for a few days, then died.

I don't ever remember being bowled over by the good looks of the TJ employees.

But they are kind and patient, and always greet us with a smile. Maybe that's what makes them seem so attractive. :-)

Oh, Trader Joe's -- how do I love thee? Let me count the ways:

The Creamy Corn and Roasted Pepper Soup
The Roasted Soynut Butter (crunchy and smooth)
The Frozen Chicken Fried Rice
The Egg Rolls
The Flash Frozen Chicken Tenders (breaded or plain)
Trader Darwin Vitamins for the whole family
Frozen Berries for smoothies
Key Lime Pie
Chocolate covered soynuts
Almonds, Almonds, Almonds!
Joe's Frosted O's
"This blueberry walks into a bar..." Cereal bars
Fair Trade Coffee (samples available while I shop!)

And all the other goodies that you other folks listed!

About the stores: I have two within 7 miles of my home (I live in Northern VA.) And yes, I do know how lucky I am. The facilities are always clean, and the people who work there are helpful. When I go shopping with my son who is Deaf and has other challenges, the staff is friendly and tries to communicate with him. We both love going to TJ's!

Oh, enjoy your Zachary. Mine is a wonderful young man.

Here's a bit of advice: You and your wife are the experts on your children. Everyone else may think they know better, but they don't.

Here's what worked for us: we were "attachment" parents before we even heard of the term. Basically, we gave babies the love and attention when and how they wanted and needed. Our babies slept with us, nursed on demand, and were picked up when they cried.

Yes, it was a sacrifice, but we've reaped the benefits. They did not become "brats." As they grew older, we had rules in our house like everyone else -- see my post under swaddling/spanking.

But the bottom line is that our boys love us and each other, and they've grown into wonderful young men who are loved and respected by their friends, schools, and community.

I learned with my boys that spanking worked depending on the situation. When they were young, we used it sparingly, and it was effective. We never smacked faces, and only a few times smacked hands that were engaged in very dangerous situations (touching a hot stove, trying to soemthing in an outlet, that sort of thing). Usually, we swatted their well-padded bottoms (above clothes) a few times a month.

As the boys grew, we found success in putting their toys and other fun activities in time out. For instance, if someone misbehaved, their toy(s) would be put in time out for a certain amount of time or until their were ransomed by the child's good behavior.

In other words, "If you fight over the nintendo, it goes in time out for the rest of the day." This works because its not the child himself, but his beloved item that is in time out. Best if all, the item doesn't cry in the corner, begging to get out of time out.

As for blanket swaddling, I did it, and my kids were comforted by it. However, I didn't do it as often with my young son, as he was often "swaddled" and nursing in the baby sling, allowing me to have free hands with his brother.

Both boys are nice young men, well-balanced and a joy to us and others around them.

I ate chocolate before, during, and after my pregnancies. All I got for my efforts were two strapping boys who are complete chocoholics.

I think this guy is very smart to use a turtle (especially a trained one) to reach kids.

George, our orange tabby, is at least 16 years old.

George still hunts for mice, birds, etc., to augment his diet of the cheapest dry cat food I can find.

He has always refused to use the litter box, and prefers to go outside. Except when the weather is bad -- then he goes on my laundry room floor.

If George keeps this up, it won't be old age that gets him, it will be ME.

This reads like the start of a bad "end of the world" movie.

I guess its easier to do this than to actually help the world by working on solving genetic issues/illnesses with actual live people.

Monia said:
"I think I’d carry a little card with me to show people I had interaction with that I was deaf."

Some Deaf people carry cards and notes for the hearing.

For my son (who is also mildly mentally retarded) I put cards in his jacket, backpack, and "trapper keeper" that tell anyone he shows (or if they find him) that he is Deaf, and it provides our contact information. On the back of the card, it says, "I am Deaf, please help me."

Good Lord. This is the kind of crazy stuff that I worry will happen to my Deaf son as he gets older and goes out into the hearing world by himself.

Michael @10:57,

The parents who have children with challenges, and/or who were born prematurely have not jumped into the "Liberal v. Conservative" or "Christian v. Non-Christian" wading pool here in these comments. Other people have - we have not.

The other parents and I have simply said that our childrens' lives do have value, and that they deserve the best care to ensure their survival.