I nominate a zero... a western town meaner than #1 Diablo Canyon. A town so out of control that any law enforcement is killed in hours, if not days.
It is modern day Ciudad Juárez, across the river from El Paso, Texas. There have been over 1000 murders in 2011 alone, and we still have 6 weeks left in 2011. There were over 1200 murders in 2010. There are mass murders, thousands of kidnappings. Any lawman that is not on the payroll of the crime gangs is killed instantly.
What about the most famous one of all, still going strong since 1951?
Preventive Maintenance Monthly. The US Military's guide for servicemen on how to use, service, and care for their equipment. From M16's to M1A1 tanks. It was started by the famous cartoonist Will Eisner. A recurring character was Pvt. Joe Dope, who always did the wrong thing and paid for it dearly.
One of his most famous manuals was a comic book for the M16 in Vietnam, designed to be read by teenage grunts. You can read it here. http://www.ep.tc/problems/25/index.html
Har! A friend of mine owns a catering biz, in LA. He told me that he once was hired to cater an orgy for Husler mag. He said it was the weirdest gig he ever did.
Outside of North America, mentioning Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich makes people ill.
The reason: in British English the word "Jelly" means gelatin, or what we call "Jello" in the US. So it is the equivalent of saying "Peanut spread with jello". Sounds disgusting.
So if you are talking to a Brit, Aussie, or Kiwi, say "Peanut Butter with Jam". They will understand you and not throw up on your shoes.
I use to sail all the time in that area. I always believed it to be exaggerations. Of the real lost planes and ships, I attribute them to three things:
(1) Navigation errors (human error). There are a lot of idiots in this area who know nothing about boating.
(2) White Squalls. I've been in a couple. They are super intense thunderstorms. They only last a few minutes. Everything turns white and you can tell where the ocean and rain separate. If you don't have good equipment, or panic, you will sink. I'd hate to fly through one in a small plane. It would slam you into the sea. It is sort of like being hit by a tornado.
(3) Narco Pirates (in the 70s and 80s). This explains the boat disappearances on perfect clear days. A little fast speedboat runs up, shoots all aboard, and then they use your boat for a one time drug run from Columbia. Takes all of 30 seconds, no time for distress calls. They don't care, and they sink the boat after the run and just pirate another one for their next job.
Yea.. I agree. Just uttering F-bombs is very immature and unoriginal.
Real insults are clever.
Example (1) from Winston Churchill.... Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Churchill: "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.”
Example (2) From Trailer Park Boys.... "The only way Ricky could be any dumber is if he died and came back as a turnip."
I crack up whenever I read some Islamic hothead predicting the "End of the US" any day. They get all excited thinking about a world with no US of A in it.
OK, we are the 3rd most populous country in the world. No 1 economy, one of the largest landmasses. Our country takes almost a whole continent and has massive shorelines on both of the planet's 2 biggest oceans. The US has the largest military, many top universities, and top research facilities on the planet.
It contains 300 million armed, dedicated, pretty religious, and highly motivated citizens.
So where exactly does a country like that disappear to? Yea Mr. Muslim fanatic... keep dreaming ya idiot. We are going to continue to be your worst nightmare for generations to come.
Wow. I remember one job application I filed out when I was a teenager in the early 80's. One proponent question was "Are you, or have you ever been, a member of the American Communist Party?"
I answered "no" since it was true. But I could no figure out for the life of me what would happen to my app if I checked "yes". Even at the time, the question struck me as blatantly illegal. I got the job.
It is modern day Ciudad Juárez, across the river from El Paso, Texas. There have been over 1000 murders in 2011 alone, and we still have 6 weeks left in 2011. There were over 1200 murders in 2010. There are mass murders, thousands of kidnappings. Any lawman that is not on the payroll of the crime gangs is killed instantly.
Preventive Maintenance Monthly. The US Military's guide for servicemen on how to use, service, and care for their equipment. From M16's to M1A1 tanks. It was started by the famous cartoonist Will Eisner. A recurring character was Pvt. Joe Dope, who always did the wrong thing and paid for it dearly.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PS,_The_Preventive_Maintenance_Monthly
One of his most famous manuals was a comic book for the M16 in Vietnam, designed to be read by teenage grunts. You can read it here.
http://www.ep.tc/problems/25/index.html
The reason: in British English the word "Jelly" means gelatin, or what we call "Jello" in the US. So it is the equivalent of saying "Peanut spread with jello". Sounds disgusting.
So if you are talking to a Brit, Aussie, or Kiwi, say "Peanut Butter with Jam". They will understand you and not throw up on your shoes.
(1) Navigation errors (human error). There are a lot of idiots in this area who know nothing about boating.
(2) White Squalls. I've been in a couple. They are super intense thunderstorms. They only last a few minutes. Everything turns white and you can tell where the ocean and rain separate. If you don't have good equipment, or panic, you will sink. I'd hate to fly through one in a small plane. It would slam you into the sea. It is sort of like being hit by a tornado.
(3) Narco Pirates (in the 70s and 80s). This explains the boat disappearances on perfect clear days. A little fast speedboat runs up, shoots all aboard, and then they use your boat for a one time drug run from Columbia. Takes all of 30 seconds, no time for distress calls. They don't care, and they sink the boat after the run and just pirate another one for their next job.
Real insults are clever.
Example (1) from Winston Churchill....
Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea."
Churchill: "Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.”
Example (2) From Trailer Park Boys....
"The only way Ricky could be any dumber is if he died and came back as a turnip."
OK, we are the 3rd most populous country in the world. No 1 economy, one of the largest landmasses. Our country takes almost a whole continent and has massive shorelines on both of the planet's 2 biggest oceans. The US has the largest military, many top universities, and top research facilities on the planet.
It contains 300 million armed, dedicated, pretty religious, and highly motivated citizens.
So where exactly does a country like that disappear to? Yea Mr. Muslim fanatic... keep dreaming ya idiot. We are going to continue to be your worst nightmare for generations to come.
I answered "no" since it was true. But I could no figure out for the life of me what would happen to my app if I checked "yes". Even at the time, the question struck me as blatantly illegal. I got the job.