no. 939 - @rolldiggity
Me? Just throwing magnets at strangers in the park to try to expose robots.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) January 14, 2013
no. 938 - @yaelbt
Reading a book while walking: obnoxious if you are an adult, adorable if you are a kid
— Ybt (@yaelbt) September 29, 2012
no. 937 - @barneda
Sometimes love is out to get your scalp.#valentinesday
— David Barneda (@barneda) February 12, 2013
no. 936 - @AristotlesNZ
Mom, Dad, I'm a gatherer. -Caveman coming out to his parents.
— Aristotles (@AristotlesNZ) January 30, 2013
no. 935 - @StellaRtwot
I think there's finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.
— Denise (@StellaRtwot) January 27, 2013
no. 934 - @imaliwaller
Let's take a moment this Valentine's Day to think about how awkward it is for all the couples who started dating in January.
— ali waller (@imaliwaller) February 14, 2011
no. 933 - @RorynotRoy
I respect how the Hamburglar was like, "Hey, I know I'm at rock bottom here, but I'm going to be professional about it and wear a tie."
— Rory (@RorynotRoy) August 19, 2012
no. 932 - @donni
Oh, macaroni, you'd be lost without the cheese and you know it.
— donni(@donni) January 2, 2011
no. 931 - @bdbdleeroybrown
“The Force†is weird. How come a Jedi can detect a planet being destroyed light years away but can’t tell he is kissing his own sister?
— Bad Bad Leeroy Brown (@bdbdleeroybrown) November 20, 2011
no. 930 - @VeryShortStory
Upset by the bad grade, Martin threw the homework across the classroom. He was put in timeout by Ms. Stein, his son's teacher.
— Very Short Story (@VeryShortStory) January 14, 2013
no. 929 - @GuyEndoreKaiser
no. 928 - @calluptome
Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank he can rob the world.
— Craving(@calluptome) November 30, 2011
no. 927 - @JustASmirk
Curves are what turns a girl into a woman. If I wanted to see your ribs I'd ask for an X-ray.
— Judd Nelson (@JustASmirk) April 17, 2012
no. 926 - @BillMc7
Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it's very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.
— Bill Mc7 (@BillMc7) December 9, 2010
no. 925 - @MiahSaint
IMAGE: a rhino trots up with a selection of donuts on his horn. u wanted cream-filled but are a good-natured soul & realize his limitations.
— Miah St. Cyr (@MiahSaint) June 9, 2012
