no. 331 - @LaughingLesbian
Most days I am so fucking awesome, the roses stop and smell me. - @LaughingLesbian
~Illustration by: Niki Waters~
Most days I am so fucking awesome, the roses stop and smell me. - @LaughingLesbian
Most days I am so fucking awesome, the roses stop and smell me. - @LaughingLesbian
no. 330 - @bazecraze
Sadness is an L.A. bagel. - @bazecraze
no. 329 - @sbellelauren
i could never have a chip on my shoulder. i'd totally eat it before anyone saw it. - @sbellelauren
~Illustration by:Â Pete Hillstrom~
no. 328 - @beingtheo
Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style. Now explaining typewriter -Â @beingtheo
~Illustration by:Â Kaz Foxsen~
no. 327 - @emvetica
Fact: I broke up with a guy because his pre-sneeze face scared the crap out of me. - @emvetica
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
no. 326 - @DoubleBerg426
Relationships are like a seesaw. If one of you gets too bored or too fat, the fun's over. - @DoubleBerg426
~Illustration by: Nicholas Dennis~
no. 325 - @MistookMistake
Please note: They are called "skinny" jeans... not "make you skinny" jeans. - @MistookMistake
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
no. 324 - @DepressedDarth
The best part of the new Lady Gaga album is the part in between songs where there's no music. -  @DepressedDarth
~Illustration by: Anna Beck~
no. 323 - @DamienFahey
The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa. @DamienFahey
~Illustration by:Â Kaz Foxsen~
no. 322 - @yoyoha
no. 321 - @willwrite4beer
Instead of mandatory steroid testing for athletes, why not just make every athlete take steroids? - @willwrite4beer
~Illustration by: Gideon Virgadamo~
no. 320 - @shawnries
Just for the record, if roles were reversed, there’s no way a cat would keep four or more middle-aged women around. - @shawnries
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
no. 319 - @Ty_Schutz
It's weird that there are no humans in the Planet Earth series. Where's the rich white guy who shoots the lion? - @Ty_Schutz no. 318 - @shariv67
Every time I pull up in my Smart Car, the garage asks, "Is it in yet?" @shariv67
~Illustration by:Â Kaz Foxsen~
no. 317 - @FilthyRichmond
Keep a set of maracas on your desk so people won't suspect that you're opening pill bottles all day long - @FilthyRichmond
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
