no. 345 - @nirvana68
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
I never go to strip clubs. If I want to see a girl who won't have sex with me and is just there for the money, I'll stay home with the wife.- @nirvana68
no. 344 - @brattyunicorn
This is my new tweet format: reasonable beginning followed by REALLY PSYCHOTIC SUGGESTION IN ALL CAPS. - @brattyunicorn no. 343 - @MisterPrankster
~Illustration by Mike Force~
You'd think rappers would start buying better microphones instead of having to check it in the beginning of every song. - @MisterPranksterno. 342 - @thisjason
I hate having sex with Casey Anthony, she gets off too easy. -Â @thisjason
no. 341 - @donni
~Illustration by:Â Carnilius R~
Overs, Worst To Best:
1) Comb
2) Hang
3) Left
4) Make
5) Sleep
- @donni
no. 340 - @julieklausner
no. 339 - @sbellelauren
no. 338 - @ProdigalSam
no. 337 - @rodney_at_large
I called out my wife's name during sex one time and she walked in to see what I needed. Won't make that mistake again. - @rodney_at_large
~Illustration by Caleb Olson~
no. 336 - @shelbyfero
There's a Leprechaun museum in Ireland with giant furniture you can sit on, if anyone was wondering why I've died and gone to HEAVEN!!! @shelbyfero
~Illustration by: Greg Smith~
no. 335 - @nicthacker
no. 334 - @lazerdoov
Girlfriend was waiting for me when I got home. Girlfriend is what I nicknamed my empty, unfurnished silent apartment of sadness. - @lazerdoov
~Illustration by:Â Emily Niland~
no. 333 - @Brain_Wash
My nephew's birthday is coming up. I wonder what you get for the boy who is made entirely of mucus. @Brain_Wash
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
no. 332 - @Joshinator
If a woman had given Albert Einstein a handjob, it would have been a stroke of genius. - @Joshinator
~Illustration by:Â Kevin Coffee~
