no. 782 - @NoogsCorner
A shitty speech therapist, Yoda had. @NoogsCorner
A shitty speech therapist, Yoda had. @NoogsCorner
A shitty speech therapist, Yoda had. @NoogsCorner 
no. 781 - @donni
Just dropped my toothbrush in the toilet, which narrowly beats dropping a plunger in my mouth. - @donni no. 780 - @sbellelauren
here's a complete list of all the things in life i've got figured out:
- Â @sbellelauren no. 779 - @slyoung5
I wish I could put my whole fucking house in the washing machine. @slyoung5 no. 778 - @NickFlora
How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the soup before it was cool. #wockawocka @NickFlora no. 777 - @funnyoneliners
no. 776 - @Schmoodles
~Illustrated by:Â @LisaAnnWilson~
Hey, boys! Sex tip:
1. Buy an iPod Classic. 2. Practice scrolling down to ZZ Top. @Schmoodlesno. 775 - @GuyEndoreKaiser
 ~Illustrated by Joy and Noelle of Twins Are Weird~
no. 774 - @Schmoodles
~Illustrated by:Â @LisaAnnWilson~
Toaster settings: No.1: "I do nothing." No.2: "I do nothing." No.3: "I do nothing." No.4: "I SET BREAD ON FIRE!"Â @Schmoodles
no. 773 - @yoyoha
no. 772 - @jessicasrcook
Proverbs are just vintage tweets @jessicasrcook
no. 771 - @jdelwoo
what was that, dudes, you can pee standing up? sorry i couldn't hear you over the sound of my 6th orgasm @jdelwoo no. 770 - @arnie
no. 769 - @trevso_electric
"Let's tape a spider to a lobster and scare the shit out of everyone forever." -God making scorpions  @trevso_electric 
