no. 924 - @jenstatsky
~Illustrated by:Â Francis Anderson~
A frittata is just an omelette that studied abroad for a year in college.
— Jen Statsky (@jenstatsky) October 5, 2012
no. 923 - @anjeanettec
~Illustrated by:Â Francis Anderson~
Nothing is more terrifying than another human being walking toward you with a smile and a clipboard.
— Anjeanette Carter (@anjeanettec) April 28, 2012
no. 922 - @bergified
Robert De Niro addresses a stuffed owl in his passenger seat: "You talkin' to me?" The owl says nothing. - Taxidermy Driver (1976)
— Brother Berg (@bergified) November 16, 2012
no. 921 - @Lisa_Bizzle
TV show idea: Gary Busey slowly eating a pencil.
— Lisa Bizzle (@Lisa_Bizzle) October 24, 2012
no. 920 - @iwearpajamas
wish they made a lint roller for bad decisions.
— brent (@iwearpajamas) December 17, 2012
no. 919 - @chrisanna4real
Even if women came with directions, you still wouldn't read them.
— Chrisanna4real (@chrisanna4real) April 18, 2012
no. 918 - @IGotsSmarts
This Christmas, I'm giving out legs as stocking stuffers.
— Steve Mieczkowski (@IGotsSmarts) December 10, 2012
no. 917 - @PaulyPeligroso
I want to get drunk. Like "speaking in cursive" drunk.
— Pauly Casillas (@PaulyPeligroso) March 12, 2012
no. 916 - @andylassner
Why isn't there Snapfat? You eat whatever you want and after 10 seconds - it didn't happen.
— andy lassner (@andylassner) December 3, 2012
no. 915 - @badbanana
There is no graceful way to stop giving someone the Heimlich when it turns out they didn't need the Heimlich.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) October 18, 2012
no. 914 - @prodigalsam
My mouth is less a mouth & more a pizza garage.
— sammy rhodes (@prodigalsam) November 25, 2012
no. 913 - @fart
~Original illustration by:Â @Pants~
do you think any old west guys ever made a poop and then shot the poop with a gun
— jon hendren (@fart) March 15, 2012
no. 913 - @Aspersioncast
no. 913 - @yoyoha
~Original illustration by:Â Wobbly Goggy~
Don't forget to stop and Instagram the roses.
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) November 14, 2012
