Since 2014, The Onion has been running the same he...  ...rly Happens uses the same story every time a mass shooting happens, with only the location and number of vic...  ...ople were killed at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. In May of 2014, it was UC...  ...ne, I had no idea it woul...

When a gunman opened fire on the Seattle Pacific University campus Thursday, one person was killed and three were wounded. It could have been worse, except that when he paused to reload, student Jon Meis jumped up and ta...