I bet the sheep that make steel wool are awesome.— Daniel Crayg (@10InchesPlus) December 30, 2012 ~Illustrated by: Colin Graham~You can buy this, and most Twaggies images, as shirts and prints, right down here....

This guy next to me says my cigarette smoke is bothering him. I'm like: Well, it's killing me and I'm not bitching about it.— E=mc² (@samalmightysam) September 1, 2012 ~Illustrated by: Colin Graham~...

I'm what Willis was talking about.— Debbie Harry Cooter (@WhoCuppedMyCake) December 25, 2011...

What sort of tape measure does the guy from The Guinness Book of Records use to measure the worlds longest tape measure?— Aspersioncast (@Aspersioncast) May 3, 2013...

Men mean well, but they usually say "good".— Jaydi Samuels (@JessCallMeJaydi) May 13, 2013...

I consider myself ruthless since there are no Ruths in my life.— SAL (@gmossii) December 27, 2012 ~Illustrated by: Grant Kolton~Get this on a T-shirt over at the Twaggies Shop: I Consider Myself Ruthless...

Don't think you're immune. We're all just a whim away from singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." Yes, a whim away...a whim away...a whim away.— Tony (@Tmoney68) October 23, 2012 ~Original illustration: Ricardo Co...

Dear Homophobic Vending Machine:I'm sorry my dollar bill wasn't straight enough for you. Go fuck yourself.Sincerely,Skittle-less— Bona Fide Intentions (@BonaFideIntent) July 16, 2012 ~Illustrated by: Alex...

This editorial in the Ulster Gazette of Armagh, Northern Ireland, complains about the expense of planning, consulting, and debating the railroad upgrade. The person who wrote this headline really should be given a bonus...

"I just launched a new fragrance!" - fun way to announce a fart— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) October 28, 2011 ~Original illustration: Ricardo Costa~...