You can do anything you want with your life... until you have kids. @VerifiedDrunk...
https://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/2012/02/15/no-666-verifieddrunk/Today I saw a baby with a bib that said "This dumb ass put my cape on backwards"Â @crston7...
https://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/2012/02/09/no-657-crston7/I just took a shit in a public bathroom so quickly & silently that a ninja dropped through the ceiling & high fived me. @TequilaTears...
https://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/2012/01/21/no-628-tequilatears/Statistically speaking, the hood is usually the last place it's all good in. @MrsRupertPupkin...
https://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/2012/01/09/no-612-mrsrupertpupkin/You offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend anymore. -Â @TrolleyCat...
https://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/2011/12/24/no-594-kneepoon/The nice meeting is shorter. @ barneda
https://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/2011/12/23/no-593-barneda/I'm not looking for my knight in shining armour, just a man who knows how to handle a sword. @LittleHarmonica...
https://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/2011/11/30/no-577-littleharmonica/I'm not out of my mind. I'm trapped inside this crazy thing! @CandyCrisis...
https://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/2011/10/27/no-542-candycrisis/I have a severe Religious Nut allergy. @SuSuSuDonym...
https://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/2011/10/27/no-541-sususudonym/Grizzly, panda, polar. Grizzly, panda, polar. Grizzly, panda, polar. Sorry to be redundant, but it's bears repeating. @Schindizzle...
https://www.neatorama.com/twaggies/2011/10/25/no-536-schindizzle/