If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?— @TattooedMisery (@TattooedMisery) October 17, 2011...

I recently adopted a highway, since I am unfortunately unable to have a biological highway— Megan Amram (@meganamram) May 16, 2012...

It was a major lifestyle change but I once went vegan for an entire meal.— Totes HiLarry's (@VocabuLarry) August 20, 2012...

If you have a flip-phone, you are probably an undercover cop.— Danny Charnley (@DanKCharnley) November 26, 2011...

I need a restore factory settings button— Phoebe (@pwwheelhouse) June 20, 2012...

Let's take a minute to salute the real heroes. People without air conditioning in their car.— Marconi (@MarconiBologna) June 23, 2012...

My back has been killing me lately. I need someone to punch it really hard… Batman style. bit.ly/OywJFf @brandonreese— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) July 31, 2012...

I bet cats are pissed they can’t sit on televisions anymore.— Aspersioncast (@Aspersioncast) June 21, 2012...

Reading all these tweets is hard work. Think I’ll just skip to the end and see how it ends. twaggies.com/2012/06/funny-… @SpeelyFreaking— Team Twaggies (@twaggies) June 24, 2012...

http://twitter.com/twaggies/status/214359324162666499...