Just jerked off in an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels @The_Andy_Drew...

~Illustrated by: John McNamee~ Gyno: Do...  ...John McNamee~ Gyno: Do you have pains after sexual intercourse? Me: Well, they don’t usual...

~Illustrated by: Jeff Maksuta~ Game Show Idea! I have to guess if u are homosexual, have scoliosis, or bad at hanging pictures. Its called "Let's Get One Thing Straight" @robfee...

 ~Illustration by: Matt Lassen~ Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers. - @technopriest5...

~Illustrated by: Brian Hamill~ The only thing I spoon nowadays is Ice Cream. - @DrThanatos...

~Illustration by: Matt Lassen~ My kids are "into cars," so we went to a car show. Totally unfair. I'm "into boobs," but do we ever go to a boob show? No. - @RexHuppke...

~Illustrated by: Jeff Maksuta~ Give a guy an inch and he calls it six. - @Haleys_Hell...

I have a coupon good for 1 blowjob that I got from my ex on my birthday, so if any of you ladies take coupons from competitors... @SmokeMyWords...

~Illustration by: Jim Bertram~ Thunder and lightning without rain is Mother Nature faking an orgasm. - @IGotsSmarts...

~Illustration by: Matt Lassen~ My boyfriend is so cute when he pretends he's not my boyfriend and threatens to call the cops if I don't stop following him <3 - @Holidayze...